I have no inner monologue...

JUST SAYIN'

2011-05-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Please excuse the language in the following post.

A person I know (barely) has started leaving awesome comments on old blog posts here. I'm talking posts from 2007! It's an oh-so-clever thing to do and since I doubt anyone reads the archives, I decided to reprint the comments here so you can enjoy them.

In related news, I have turned on the comment moderation feature of the blog so if you leave a comment, you'll have to wait for me to approve it before it shows up. Be patient, padawans. If he leaves any more gems (or turds) I'll be happy to share them as well. Without further ado, here are quotes from "Just Sayin'" without any editing (except that I changed the color to an appropriate hue):

for even thinking that "joke" would funny let alone actually saying to the lady...ur an asshole...just sayin

i can and will make fun of god all i want...who are u to tell anyone they cant...grow up fat boy

why cant people decide not to believe in god without being wrong? and dustin if u have done anything for me u have made me never want to believe in any god let alone the one u believe in cuz i have yet to see anything at all where u show any love, support, caring etc to anyone...ur way of thinking is right, ur way of doing things is right even to the point of you feel what u find funny no one else should let alone actually laugh at...just sayin

u are ALWAYS in a negative mind set...just sayin

Again.

2011-05-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

Testes. Testes.

One.

Two...

Three?

Hello.

2011-04-23T23:30:00.001-07:00

Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me....

Is there anyone home?

Another funny video.

2010-05-10T15:02:00.001-07:00

Funny

I don't know how this guy tricked the news station into letting him on the air, but it's great.

I like this video/commercial. It made me laugh.

2010-05-06T12:03:00.001-07:00

I can't seem to get videos to embed at the correct resolution, so I'm resorting to links. Sorry 'bout that.

Can you eat ice cream on a roller coaster?

Laura needs to invest in one of these...

2010-05-03T14:24:00.002-07:00

The Better Marriage Blanket

More about media addiction

2010-04-28T15:25:00.001-07:00

Read this article about media addiction.

An amusing dream involving puns.

2010-04-06T11:09:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm such a cool person that even my dreams can be full of brilliant puns. Take this example from last night...

I was working at the front desk at my job. This happens in real life occasionally, specifically when one of the receptionists needs to take a quick break. In walked a teenage boy, African American (which is important to the story, of course), who was looking for his mom.

"She works here. Her name is Ada Blackwell." At least that's what I think he said. He tended to mumble, so I wasn't positive.

"We don't have anyone here with that name," I replied. "What was the name again?"

"I'll write it down for you," he said. I handed him a pen and he wrote something indistinct in illegible cursive.

"Blackwell? Is that right?"

"Yes, black male," he answered.

"Blackmail?!" I was confused. "You're trying to blackmail someone?"

"Black male," he said again, nodding.

I finally figured out that he was referring to himself and not an illegal scheme to defraud somebody. "Is the last name Blackwell?"

He nodded.

Just then one of the real receptionists returned and was immediately able to help the young lad out.

I'm just glad there weren't more rhymes/puns to confuse me even worse. Black shell? Crack smell? Stack fell? I would go insane......

New baby?

2010-03-30T00:21:00.001-07:00

We have a new baby. If you haven't seen any pictures yet, I'll post a couple now. We like her. ;-)

smile

2010-03-08T00:32:00.001-08:00

Brilliant satire.

2010-03-05T12:56:00.001-08:00

This is just stupid.... but funny.

2010-03-01T17:53:00.001-08:00

Chatroulette win!

2010-03-01T17:51:00.001-08:00

Don't visit ChatRoulette. It's full of nasty naked people. But this video is funny...

Ow.

2010-02-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

I hope this is a joke. If not, then it's possibly the worst band out there. And it's a Christian band as well...

A long making-of ... interesting.

2010-02-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

The best commercial in a long, long time.

2010-02-17T16:52:00.001-08:00

Funny video game controlled by screaming

2010-02-03T14:01:00.001-08:00

Clarification

2010-02-03T10:40:00.000-08:00

You can read the comment on my last post to see why I decided to write this one. I think my point was completely misunderstood, so I want to take a minute to clarify.

My Facebook post that caused a problem was this:

Dustin Dopps says "Boy, life is fun." Laura went to the doctor today and the baby is doing great, but Laura has a cyst that needs to be removed. She was planning on having her tubes tied, but this cyst causes a problem that makes that scenario unlikely... So I might be snipped in the near future. :-(

I didn't write this to be provocative or to embarrass anyone. I didn't write it to make my parents ashamed or to rebel against anyone. I simply wanted to share something *important* that is happening in my life right now.

I completely understand that some people wouldn't share this kind of information out in the public of the internet. That's fine with me. But if you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that I don't mind sharing "private" information like this. It's just not a big deal to me.

The fact is, the post refers to some common issues facing people in my situation: when is a family big enough? How do you responsibly keep from having more children? What does God approve or disapprove of when it comes to reproductive issues?

I was simply sharing a likely outcome for our family: it looks like we'll be stopping at four kids and I might have to have surgery to ensure it.

You can take offense to my open discussion of this "taboo" topic. I completely understand. But my point is simple: I share these types of topics because I want to, and it isn't anyone else's business.

To call me "disrespectful, inconsiderate and selfish" seems a bit much. My blog is, by its very nature, selfish. It's about my life. That's why it exists. But to call it disrespectful and inconsiderate doesn't make much sense. I didn't disrespect anybody. And I don't even know how being "inconsiderate" even fits into this discussion.

So I end with this: I will continue to talk about my private life on this blog and on Facebook. If that offends you, I'm sorry, but you have a choice of whether or not to read what I've written. I share my life to enhance the lives of others, not to offend anyone.

My personal life.

2010-02-02T23:47:00.000-08:00

It's interesting what some people become offended about.

I recently put a post on FaceBook that said I might need to get "snipped" (aka a vasectomy). It was a regular post - something I have no problem with anyone else knowing - and yet my mom was quite disappointed.

But really, what's the big deal?

MY personal life is MY personal life. If I decide to join a band of gypsies, it is my business. If I decide to have another child, it is my business. And if I decide to have a surgery performed so I won't have any more children, it is my business.

Unless...

If I knowingly choose to share that information with my friends and family via my blog or my Facebook page, that is ALSO MY BUSINESS. It has nothing to do with my parents. It has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. It has nothing to do with anything.

My opinion is simple: if you don't want to know my business, stay away. You KNOW that I talk about sensitive topics. You KNOW that I'm not ashamed of who I am. If it's such a burden to you, then ignore me. Don't read this blog. Don't read my Facebook updates. It's not that hard.

I hate it that someone wants to control what I say for their *own* comfort level. This blog isn't about "The Dopps Family." It's about me. Deal with it.

***now I'm truly disowned, I fear***

So funny...

2010-01-27T14:47:00.001-08:00

These videos show a Christian TV channel in England (I think...) that is being pranked by people who are sending in emails that contain references to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Rick Astley.

Seriously, this is funny stuff.

This is one reason I stopped playing Halo online...

2010-01-14T12:41:00.001-08:00

Before you click on the link to the following video, let me warn you that it is full of swear words and harsh language. If you want to avoid hearing such things, do not click below.

Those of you who read my blog know that I am not a proponent of homosexuality. It's not a big deal to me (in the same way that anyone's personal choices aren't a big deal to me), but I do believe that it is sin.

Having said that, I don't feel that it is my moral duty to tell other people that their lifestyle is wrong. As long as another person's personal choices don't have an impact on my family (or society as a whole), then I really don't care at all.

The players on Halo 2 and 3, however, come from a different background apparently. They use every kind of swear word, hate speech, and insane comments they can to try to make themselves look good (and in turn make their opponents weaker). I heard comments online that made me angry and they usually weren't even directed at me.

The people in this video are chatting live using headsets while they wait for games to start. They are 'normal' people, mostly from America, and the things they say are disturbing, gross, and immoral.

No matter what your stance is on homosexuality, you have to agree that this is wrong.

Click here to watch and listen.

A new post.

2010-01-13T17:02:00.001-08:00

I suppose it’s time to write another blog post instead of just posting videos and links, eh? So let’s discuss religion, since that seems to work so well around here.

If there’s one thing I just can’t understand about religion it’s the way people hold so tightly to their own beliefs that they feel threatened by people with a differing opinion.

Take baptism, for example. The Bible tells us to get baptized. Every example of early Christians from Acts on tells us that they were baptized. The Ethiopian eunuch said “Why not pull over and get baptized right here?” after he heard about Christianity, which leads me to believe it was brought up in conversion conversations regularly.

But let’s pretend for a minute (it’s just pretend – don’t be sad!) that one of my good friends (Bob A.) is also a Christian but they don’t believe that baptism is important. What should I do?

If I’m a typical (or stereotypical, depending on your viewpoint) Church of Christ Christian, it is my job to convince this person that they are wrong. “Bob A.,” I’d say, “it’s clear that you won’t go to heaven if you aren’t baptized. How can you not see it?!” Then I’d pray for him to find wisdom or send him notes with certain Bible passages written on them. I might even completely disassociate myself from Bob, not wanting to let his ‘evil’ views affect my own righteousness.

But really, does that even make any sense? Is the fact that Bob A. (who is frankly better looking than me and more successful at work) disagrees with me really something to get upset about? Why is it one person’s place to try to *force* their viewpoint onto another?

The same holds true with non-Christians. Ask an atheist how old the earth is and you’ll hear anything in a range from millions to billions of years. Ask me, on the other hand, and I’ll say “I have no clue. But I don’t believe our dating systems are very accurate, so I don’t believe the common consensus.”

To the atheist, I look like an idiot. Like a pariah – a person who has turned away from reason and logic and is headed to the mental hospital.

But why does he care what I believe? How does it hurt him to know intellectually that someone else doesn’t believe men have learned enough to gauge such a complex question?

It doesn’t.

It’s as if we’re so hungry to be part of the herd (part of the majority) that we’ll do anything in our power to convince other people to think like we do.

It’s stupid.

So I’m making a stand, right here and right now. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what your background is. I don’t care if you love God, hate God, don’t believe in God, or even ridicule God by turning him into the Flying Spaghetti Monster. All I really want to do is discuss the issues and engage in spirited debate.

If you’re one of the people who used to read my blog regularly but don’t much anymore, I encourage you to write a comment. I have had old friends stop calling, writing, emailing, etc. because they feel like the fact that I disagree with them makes me not worth knowing. That’s sad.

What do the rest of you think?

I love Chick-Fil-A. Here's another reason why...

2010-01-07T13:58:00.001-08:00

Chick-Fil-A is rad.

Interesting article about names

2010-01-05T16:06:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this is true, but if it is...

I'm going to sue my parents.

Cool video

2010-01-05T11:53:00.001-08:00

parkour motion reel from saggyarmpit on Vimeo.

Fantastic video

2009-12-30T15:07:00.001-08:00

What a stupid day.

2009-12-29T23:40:00.001-08:00

So last night I felt sick. REALLY sick. I was positive I was going to throw up, plus I had a sore throat and diarrhea (did you really need to know that?). So this morning I emailed my work to tell them I needed to take a sick day, I took some NyQuil (actually a store-brand copy of NyQuil if you care...) and fell back asleep.

I woke up at 3:45 this afternoon, and Laura and the kids had driven across town to hang out with her parents. My phone had a text message from Laura that said "It's snowing like crazy over here!" so I looked outside and sure enough - tons of snow on the ground.

It doesn't snow too often in the Portland area. We get snow usually about once a year, and it's not usually very bad. But there's one thing you can bet the bank on - even if there isn't much snow, Portland drivers still know how to get into snow-related car accidents. Idiots.

With that in mind, I spent the afternoon hanging out, trying to avoid looking at the huge mess in our living room (thanks, kids!) and trying not to feel sick. By 7:00, I felt pretty crappy again, so I took some more NyQuil (derivative), took a bath, and got into bed.

Can anyone guess what happened?

If your guess is "You woke up in the future to find yourself the only living human left..." you're not too far off.

I woke up at 10:00 p.m. and Laura and the kids still weren't home! We usually get the kids in bed by 8 or 9, so that was highly unusual. I hurried downstairs to where I had left my cell phone charging and called Laura.

It turns out that she had been stuck in snow-related traffic for almost three hours and couldn't get past downtown Portland. When I called, she was in the process of turning around to head back to her parents' house. I looked at live traffic cameras online and - sure enough - idiot drivers were blocking all traffic headed west.

So Laura and the kids are now at my in-laws' place for the night. They're on an impromptu camping trip, I guess. And me? I'm left alone in the house, wide awake from sleeping today, and with nothing to do (except clean up this mess, which isn't going to happen...).

What a stupid day.

Happy Day!

2009-12-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all three of my loyal readers. I'm off to the in-laws' house to let the kids open presents (although I left a snarling guard dog at home, so don't try to rob me, random strangers...).

I hope you're all having a fantastic holiday. I know I am - my kids are awesome and blessed beyond belief.

Peace!

Emery video: "The Butcher's Mouth"

2009-12-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

I love the band Emery. Give this tune a try and see if you like them too. It takes some getting used to, since there is a bit of screaming in it, but overall the tune, the vocals, the way the instrumentation fits with the words - everything is incredible.

Butcher's Mouth

Emery | MySpace Music Videos

How does God work?

2009-12-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

If you ask a modern Christian how God works in the world, you'll probably get a handful of responses...

"He doesn't. He's the clockmaker and he set up the world and now just leaves it alone."

"He works through prayer. When I pray, He listens, decides whether or not He agrees with me, then acts (or not) based on His decision. I do a lot of waiting to see what He has decided."

"He does miracles! My niece/cousin/godfather was healed of polio!"

"He causes me to speak in tongues."

"I feel His presence when I need to make decisions. I let Him work through my conscience."

"God talks to me. So does Stalin. *whispering* I palmed my pills last night..."

----

Far be it from me to criticize anyone (yeah, right!), but I think most of these are an unbeliever's way of trying to believe in the workings of God. At least the first one (the clockmaker) is intellectually honest. The rest could be signs of God or could be coincidence or could be somebody's own bias interpreting random events.

Having said all of that, I think God can work in all of those ways (except perhaps the speaking in tongues one - I tend to think that's crap because nobody actually follows the Bible's rules about having an interpreter, speaking one at a time, etc.) but I also think he works in ways we haven't even imagined.

What about the car driving in front of you REALLY S L O W L Y on a two-lane road? I believe it is quite possible that God is slowing me down for a reason. Maybe to avoid an accident up the road. Maybe to help someone *else* avoid an accident (that I might have caused up the road...?). Maybe just to give me a bit of practice in patience like I stupidly prayed for.

What about the lottery? I honestly believe that God has used the lottery in my life twice to help me financially when I really needed it. Most modern Christians I talk to about this look down on me for it. "God wouldn't work through the lottery! That's blasphemous!" But didn't he MAKE the Israelites cast lots several times in the Old Testament? Didn't he use the casting of lots to make his will known?

Is it possible that God might keep someone from winning a big lottery prize because in His wisdom, He knows it would be bad for their life?

What about alcohol and cigarettes and prostitutes? Can God really use those "sin" items to spread his message? Didn't Jesus himself reach out to prostitutes on several occasions? Wasn't Rahab (I think that was her name) saved by the Israelites even though she was a prostitute? Didn't Christ himself tell the disciples to use wine in the Lord's Supper?

I think God speaks to us all of the time and acts in our world continuously. We just don't give Him credit for it because, really, God doesn't work that way. Right?

Or maybe you just refuse to believe in *that* God because of your upbringing...

I almost wet myself (and I was naked!)...

2009-12-16T23:31:00.001-08:00

What *really* freaked me out was when the stupid Yo Gabba Gabba! guitar started playing a song all by itself... I almost soiled the stairs.

But let me back up...

Tonight Laura is at work. I hate it when she's gone (let's face it: what's the point in being married if you can't sleep next to the person?) but I made the most of it with some video games, a little bit of TV, and a nice warm bath. (Yeah! I take baths. So what?! Wanna fight over it?!)

The kids had been asleep for a while, so I relaxed in the bath, playing the new Zelda game on my DSi and reading the latest (and last) Codex Alera book by Jim Butcher. It was nice, but as I debated whether or not to get out of the tub, I heard a sound like a door opening.

Assuming one of the kids had come into my room, I let the water out of the bathtub and quickly dried off. Then I went to see what the noise had been.

As I walked into the hallway, I was surprised to see that the door to the cat's room was standing open and the light switch in there had been flipped on.

"Weird," I thought. "Someone opened her door and turned on the light, but why?"

Then I noticed that the kids' bedroom door was standing wide open and their light was also turned on.

"Crap!" I thought. "Why is their light on at 11 at night? Did one of them get up?"

But they were all sound asleep, even with the light on and the cat sitting on Caitlin's torso.

"Hey. Who got out of bed and let Maddy out of her room?" I asked quietly.

"Uhnnn," Ethan answered. "I didn't get any diamonds!"

They really WERE all asleep.

Mystified, and slightly nervous (due to recent news stories about abductions and crazy people), I returned to my bedroom and pulled out the 7-inch Buck knife a friend gave me a long time ago. I was still naked from the bath, I clutched my cell phone in one hand (in case someone was in the house and I needed to call the police) and the large knife in the other.

And I crept downstairs...

I checked the living room and kitchen first, but there was nobody there. I got to the toy room and decided to check in the toy room closet, which required walking barefoot on tons of toys. That's when I stepped on the Yo Gabba Gabba! guitar and made it sing a song.

Nobody in the playroom. Nobody in the downstairs bathroom. I started back up the stairs and was startled to see something above me at the railing... but it was just Caitlin's coat. And then I heard it.

The stupid guitar, playing a song again after being silent for a minute or so.

I returned downstairs, knife at my side, and found the guitar with another toy wedged on top of it. Apparently my fat footsteps had caused it to be pressed just right so that the stupid toy went off by itself as I ascended the stairs.

I searched the rest of the upstairs - including under the beds and in the closets - but found nothing. So I guess I'll go to sleep now, secure in the knowledge that my house is safe and one of my kids just happened to sleepwalk into the cat's room and turn on the lights...

Did I mention the Buck knife will be within reach all night?

A shout out to my parents...

2009-12-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

First things first: Devon - the phrase "You might find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile..." comes from a band called The Talking Heads and their song "Once In A Lifetime." It's basically a rumination of 'How did I get here?' kinds of thinking.

As for my parents - they saved us from some annoying financial problems this week. I don't often ask my parents for financial help. In fact, I avoid it whenever possible. But this month things were weird, so I asked my dad for some assistance. His philosophy: I help other people with money, so what kind of Dad would I be if I didn't help my own kids when they need it?

I'd just like to publicly say thanks. That money came in handy. It wasn't necessary, by an means, but it was definitely stress-reducing.

Life is good, neh?

An open letter to the Mexican guy from last night...

2009-12-11T15:55:00.001-08:00

I think I’ve figured out one of the reasons I haven’t felt like blogging lately: nothing funny has happened to me in a while.

Although my sense of humor is … unique and the things I write aren’t always funny, I tend to get most of my inspiration from things that have amused me about life. Puking kids, rude strangers, inept corporations – all of these are ripe fodder for funny stories and make me want to write.

The good news? Something funny has finally happened again. Maybe not ‘funny ha ha’ but definitely interesting and (dare I say it) amusing.

Last night I rear-ended another car.

Ha ha!

I was driving to my in-laws’ house to meet my wife for our once-a-decade date night and it was just after dusk. The sun had barely set, the streetlights were on, and the headlights of oncoming cars were at that perfectly annoying “blind you since your eyes aren’t adjusted yet” level, which was my downfall.

I was on a regular four-lane road, having exited the freeway due to stop-and-go traffic that was taking way too long. I was in the left lane and I flinched from an oncoming car’s lights and as my vision came back, I noticed a card stopped in front of me about 10 feet away.

I was only going 35 or so, but those 10 feet disappeared as my brain reacted and after a half-second of squealing tires and slammed brakes, I was up the car’s tailpipe (so to speak…).

“Aw, crap,” I thought. “That was totally my fault. This sucks.”

I put on the blinkers, got out of the car, and walked up to the victim’s car. Out popped a Mexican man – probably in his mid-20s. His first words to me: “Aw, man, that’s the third time I’ve been rear-ended this week!”

HA HA!

Knowing that the accident was entirely my fault, I watched as he examined his bumper for damage, noting that the bumper was already covered in scratches, which I assume came from his other accidents this week.

“Sorry, man,” I said. “That was my fault. I didn’t have time to stop.”

“I don’t see any cracks or anything,” he replied. “I think it’s okay. Your car looks fine. I think everything’s okay.”

“Cool,” I said, feeling less-than-cool, and I reached out my hand to shake his. He shook my hand, got back in his car, and drove away.

Whew!

Thank you, random guy, for going easy on me last night, and thanks also for giving me something write about. 

You might find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile...

2009-12-09T02:05:00.000-08:00

And this is where I find myself at 2:05 a.m. on a Wednesday morning. I'm sitting awake, my belly full of salt and vinegar chips and Lean Pockets cheese pizza, a cup of ice water next to my bed. And I'm waiting...

Waiting for what? I'm not quite sure.

Waiting for sleep to come back, that's one thing.

Waiting for this crazy thing called life to return to a sense of normalcy.

Waiting for a Christmas with few presents, little cash, and the anticipation of a baby on the way...

It just feels like life is in a holding pattern recently. Like things aren't normal (what with the recent sicknesses, my wife's pregnancy, etc.) but they're not really changing either. It's like being on a cruise ship one of the days the boat is "at sea" and there's no real destination for the day, we're all just floating along...

One thing I've realized lately, though, is that I've been neglecting my blog for other means of communication. It's much easier to dash out a quick 'witty' status update on FaceBook than it is to write a full post on here. I apologize for that and will focus on writing more.

And maybe that's my problem right now: I don't have a sense of passion about anything. My wife and kids mean the world to me, of course, and I'm not referring to that kind of passion. But writing doesn't seem to *do it* for me right now. Neither do the video games I usually take solace in. I even went to a movie the other night and left because I just didn't *feel* like watching a movie - I'd rather be at home with my wife.

The only hobby bringing me any real joy lately is reading. I'm re-reading most of Orson Scott Card's books and they're great as always. I find myself wanting to just lay down and get lost in a story. Maybe there's a lesson in there...

The long weekend is done...

2009-11-30T00:19:00.000-08:00

How was your weekend? I hope it was fun.

This year the entire Dopps clan went down to Dallas for the weekend for the annual Dopps Camp. There are usually around 100 family members there, but, sadly, this year my immediate family didn't go.

We got phone calls from my siblings and parents throughout the weekend ("We're driving right now!" and "We just finished Thanksgiving dinner!" and "We're going to Six Flags and you're not and you suck!") but other than that, it was sort of a quiet time to just enjoy being our own small island in the world.

The baby is growing and healthy - we're still trying to pick the perfect girl name, so let us know your suggestions. Laura is still awesome and beautiful. And the kids fight like crazy, yet they are each so amazing that I wouldn't trade them in for anything in the world.

Life is quiet and peaceful and good*. I guess that's about all you can ask for, neh?

*Except for this nasty intestinal crap I've had for a few days now - I don't like camping out in the bathroom... TMI?

Review: "Favorites At Play" by Joy Electric

2009-11-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

Joy Electric is a curious little band. Their music is very specific: electronic beeps and blips (what the creator refers to as 'house music') with singing on top that speaks of unicorns, candy canes, lost love, and toys.

They've put out almost two dozen CDs in the past 15 years and I have to admit: sometimes I really dig the band and sometimes it really annoys me. I guess I have to be in the "correct" mood to really get into Joy Electric.

Having said that, I have purchased almost every album they've put out and I haven't really disliked any of them. They just take time to grow on me...

But not "Favorites At Play." I liked this album straight out of the gate. It's a covers album - every song on this release was originally recorded by a different band - and that makes all the difference in the world, I think.

It's not that Ronnie Martin is a bad songwriter. In fact, I think a lot of his songs are amazing and catchy. But by moving away from his 'normal' topics, this CD gives the band a chance to breathe and exist in a world slightly different from the normal JE music.

Songs such as "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay and "Falling Slowly" from the movie "Once" are odd choices for turning into house music, yet they really feel solid when you listen to them. It's like hearing these amazing songs again for the first time, which is something that all audiophiles wish they could experience.

I suggest you try some of Joy Electric's music here to see if you like them. If you do, definitely give this CD a chance. Then start working backward through their catalog and I'm sure you'll find some tracks you really enjoy.

This CD is for people with a certain taste in music, but if you read my blog, you might be the target audience. Give it a chance.

Mass Wii Pray

2009-11-19T12:31:00.001-08:00

Review: "Gentlemen Broncos" READ THIS POST

2009-11-17T21:00:00.000-08:00

Before you read anything, click here to watch the preview to Gentlemen Broncos.

Go ahead. This will still be here when you're done.

So what did you think? I bet you thought things like "Amazing!" and "What?!" and "Stupid!" But I bet you were also intrigued...

I was intrigued. I had never heard of this movie before last night. It came out of nowhere, although I loved Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre, so I should have kept my eyes open for this one.

This was written by the same husband/wife team and directed by the husband. It's got a bit of a Napoleon Dynamite feel to it, but it's not a carbon copy. It is a unique beast.

The story follows a teenager who writes crappy B-movie science fiction. He attends a writing convention where his story is stolen and turned into a novel by a once-famous but now-not-so-great science fiction author. Throughout the film we get to see scenes from his story (as well as scenes from the stolen version of the story) played out as if they were a real movie.

And those scenes are hilarious.

I won't say much else, except this: the movie drags a bit at the end of the second act (around the one hour mark) and doesn't seem to be going anywhere. But the ending was worth waiting around for and I was quite pleased overall. If this film doesn't make it to a theater near you, check it out on DVD.

Dust-anus out.

Not fun. :-(

2009-11-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

My wonderful wife is quite sick right now. She's got the flu (no confirmation on if it's H1N1 but it's very likely) and the beginning symptoms of pneumonia. Considering that 1/4 pregnant women who develop H1N1 with another disease actually die, that's freaking scary.

Tomorrow we go to the doctor to find out the sex of the new baby. We were going to cancel, but the doctor today suggested we keep the appointment as the OB will need to know what is going on and will want to examine Laura.

Keep her in your prayers, please.

Something AWESOME to end the week on a high note...

2009-11-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

You see that picture of a book cover up there? That book is called "The Authorized Ender Companion" and the author on the spine is Jake Black. Of course, you probably read that already since it's written in large text in the picture, but I digress...

This book is something of a novelty. It was created for fans of Ender's Game. And did I mention that I'm in it?

But let's back up a second. Everyone knows that I love, love, love the novel "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card. I fell in love with the book in high school, I've purchased at least 10 copies over the years and given them away, I even had a t-shirt that said "The Enemy's Gate Is Down" that I bought from the author's website.

I'm a big fan.

What you might not know, however, is how extensive the 'Enderverse'(a made-up but useful word!) really is. You see, "Ender's Game" had four sequels: "Speaker for the Dead," "Xenocide," "Children of the Mind," and "Ender In Exile." It also had a parallel novel written from the point of view of another character ("Ender's Shadow") that had several sequels: "Shadow of the Hegemon," "Shadow Puppets," and "Shadow of the Giant." Plus there have been several 'extra' Ender stories written for anthologies and Card's online SF magazine The Intergalactic Medicine Show. Then there are the comics...

The Enderverse is massive and spans thousands of years, yet when you read it, the books don't seem complex or far-flung. Everything fits.

"The Authorized Ender Companion" is an encyclopedia of sorts, but with some extra goodies. It details every character, city, technology, and major event from all of these stories and includes timelines and schematics even. In short, it is like a concordance for these books.

I read through most of the encyclopedia portion and was surprised at how many plot points I had forgotten. I've read ALL of these stories - most of them multiple times - yet details had slipped from my old man brain. It was fascinating to see how all of the pieces fit together from all of the books.

This book has other sections - one talks about the recent momentum to have Ender's Game turned into a movie. One discusses specifically the technology in the Enderverse. But the part I'm in (hooray for me?) is called "Friends of Ender." A request was made for fans of Orson Scott Card to send in letters about how the Ender books have affected their lives. I sent in a letter and they were nice enough to include it on pages 404-405. It's short, it contains a confession about my kleptomania, and I'm proud of it (if you can't tell).

Thank you, Mr. Card, for creating such a fantastic universe. Thank you for the stories and for the characters who are so real to me. And thank you for including me in this project.

Enough self-congratulations. Tomorrow I'll go back to talking about puke and stuff again. :-)

Well, now. Welcome back to the show.

2009-11-11T23:53:00.001-08:00

I've reviewed a couple of CDs recently (seriously, buy "Monster Monster" from The Almost already) but I haven't updated with any real news.

Why, you ask? Because things have been too sucky to take the time to document them.

First of all, let me say this: my work has a very generous vacation/sick time policy. I am provided with plenty of days off from work, and it is very easy to get the time off when I need it.

Having said that, the recent string of sicknesses in our family - including my two bouts with MRSA and the probably H1N1 our kids have been going through - have made me miss a TON of work. I've also had to work from home quite a bit, which isn't my preferred method to get things done.

So now I'm down to ONE paid day off of work. In total. I've used up every single other day off with this stupid stuff.

So where should I begin? The kids have been sick off and on for about three months. This latest sickness started on Sunday and resulted in Ethan and Caitlin getting sick and puking - on the couch, on the floor, on the stairs, in the toilet, in trash cans - I think they made it land on just about every kind of surface ever invented.

Ethan threw up probably nine times between Sunday and today. Caitlin threw up three times that I know of, but it could have been more. Laura has been working extra night shifts this week, so it's just been me and the sickos. I've tried to do things around the house (dishes, laundry, trash, etc.) but I've been overwhelmed and not very effective.

In the meantime, I've been feeling pretty crappy too. Nausea, an earache type thing on my jaw/ear, sore throat, stuffy nose, etc. It's made it all even more fun!

Throw in an ant infestation in the kitchen (I sprayed those little suckers!), a lack of funds (turning in coins to buy cans of soup for supper is SOOOO college), and other stupid events, and you can see what fun we've had.

So I hope to update more frequently in the near future. But if I don't, don't worry: I'm just busy cleaning up more puke and buying stock in Clorox.

Review: "Monster Monster" by The Almost

2009-11-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

This is my kind of music. The Almost is a side project from members of Underoath (who I think are much too screamy) and their music is best described as emo/new rock. There is a rawness - an honesty - to the lyrics and the vocals that just tear at my heart sometimes. Words like "When I am a monster/You don't wince when you look at me... When I am a freak/You don't stare... When I am a leper/You don't say 'Unclean!" And when I am lost/You help me get free" are spot-on in their description of our relationship with God.

Some of the songs are aggressive rock with loud guitars and slight screaming. Some are acoustic (for the most part) and full of emotion. And some (like the song "Hands" which I love singing along with) are straight-up praise of God.

I am impressed that a band/album like this can get such a mainstream release. Kudos to The Almost for being popular in a world that doesn't often like Christian 'art.' And kudos to Tooth and Nail for putting out such great music.

Seriously - if you read my blog, check out this album. It is fantastic.

Review: "0.1 Daylight's Coming" by Vesta

2009-11-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

Back in the day (I'm thinking specifically of 2000 to 2004 or so...), The Juliana Theory was my favorite band in the whole world. Their sophomore release "Emotion Is Dead" was an incredible step forward for emo music as a genre, and their follow-up EP "Music From Another Room" was just as good. These albums spoke to me on a fundamental level - when I listened to them, it was if I was listening to the distillation of music. I loved every second.

Since that time, The Juliana Theory released two more albums ("Love" and "Deadbeat Sweetheartbeat") and a 'best of' disc, and although these were great albums in their own right, they didn't compare to the previous two discs.

When the band finally broke up a few years ago, I was ambivalent. It was quite possible that the band's best days were behind it, and I would rather have them break up than continue to churn out music for no good reason.

Which brings us to Vesta. Vesta isn't a re-imagining of The Juliana Theory. Although the two bands reside in a similar genre, they are quite different in their sound and execution. But what brings the two bands into the same review is this: two members of The Juliana Theory are now in Vesta.

THAT is what made me give this disc a chance. And I'm glad I did.

"0.1 Daylight's Coming" is a curious album. The music sounds a bit like Brit rock (think Franz Ferdinand) and a bit like standard emo fare, but with 'loose' sounding vocals.

That's the best I can do, sorry. But imagine a mainstream band like Coldplay or U2 but with a bit of a different groove and you're not too far off.

When I first listened to this music, I was a bit put off. It sounded derivative - maybe I was expecting The Juliana Theory - and I almost dismissed it. But I gave it another listen. And another. And now I've been keeping it in rotation for about six weeks and it has really grown on me.

If you liked The Juliana Theory, if you like Franz Ferdinand, if you like Rooney, I suggest you give this a listen. It's not groundbreaking, but it IS high-quality, sing-along stuff that I thoroughly enjoy.

Check it out here.

Review: "(M)orning" by Mae

2009-10-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

First let me say this: I liked Mae before they were popular. That makes me super cool.

Let me say this too: I got bored with Mae before anyone else ever heard of them, which makes me lame.

When I first heard Mae, they were on a Tooth and Nail sampler and it was one song: "Embers and Envelopes" from their debut album on T&N. The song was one of three I really loved (along with "Foreign Language" by Anberlin and "Shine Like Stars" from Holland) and I quickly bought - and loved - their first album. But when "B-Sides" came out and it was more of the same, I was annoyed and decided not to buy any more of their albums...

So when Mae's superb record "The Everglow" came out several years ago, I saw it several times at the store (mainly Target, of all places) and I never actually bought it. It seemed too 'mainstream' of a release for my tastes.

I was an idiot.

I purchased "The Everglow" a few months ago and was really surprised by the quality of the songwriting. It is an album that you can put on in the background and do anything: work, washing dishes, cleaning - anything seems to go good with that album. It is just fantastic music.

So when "(M)orning" came out, I was ready to buy it on day one. There was some controversy online that said the band had changed and this wasn't a "true" Mae release, but I ignored the nonsense and downloaded straight away.

And I'm glad I did.

This album follows perfectly in the steps of "The Everglow." Some songs on it ("Fisherman's Song," I'm looking at you...) are so great that I find myself repeating themselves over and over. The songs aren't complicated - they're pretty straightforward modern alternative/emo - but they are so well crafted that I love listening to them.

And that's about the best praise I can give an album. This one hasn't grown old since I started listening to it several weeks ago. If you consider yourself a fan of modern rock (be it Christian or otherwise), I recommend this album to you. If all else fails, at least check them out on their MySpace page here.

Nice.

Wow.

2009-10-28T10:26:00.001-07:00

This should have been on CounterPopCulture.

Much ado about nothing...

2009-10-28T09:56:00.001-07:00

This article on CNN.com (site motto: It's not news - It's made up crap!) is full of something. Something that stinks.

The general idea of the article is this: modern, evolved, intellectual humans aren't dumb enough to fall for the myth of monogamy anymore.

Give it a read.

And an awesome/terrible story

2009-10-27T15:08:00.001-07:00

Here's something odd I forgot to mention.

Last night at 2:30 in the morning, Callie came stumbling into our room. This was her third night to come in (since she's been feeling sick) so I didn't think anything of it.

Then she said "Daddy! There's something in my hair!" and started crying. I reached out and sure enough, there was a Dum Dum sucker stuck in her hair. Apparently she fell asleep eating it and it fell out of her mouth and then into her hair.

Have you ever tried to pull a sucker out of a 3-year-old's hair at 2:30 in the morning when you are half-asleep? It was a new experience for me as well. And I didn't like it, but I did it.

When I finally pulled it free, guess what she did? Did she say "Thanks, Daddy!" and give me a hug? Nope. She ran over to Mommy and got a hug from her.

Moral: Dads fix things. Moms make you feel better.

The End

Another day, another sickness...

2009-10-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

So let's see. First my kids were sick. There was puking. Then I was sick. Then the kids were sick again and Laura was sick. There was more puking. Then I got sick again. Then I got a new MRSA infection... Is everyone caught up?

So this past weekend, guess what? That's right: more sickness! This time Callie had a fever and I felt like puking any time my body was vertical for more than 10 seconds. It was a miserable weekend. Yesterday I was feeling quite a bit better, but Callie was sitting in the living room watching me play a video game when she shreiked "Your game is getting into my eyes!"

I laughed and said "Okay, sweetie. Sorry about that." And I kept playing.

A couple of hours later when I came into the living room, all of the lights were off and the curtains were closed. "What's going on?" I asked my wife.

"Callie says the light hurts her eyes," she answered. "So I cut out all of the light I could, but even the TV hurts her eyes."

So Laura called the advice nurse with my insurance and found out that most of the victims of the flu this season are having sensitivity to light as one of the symptoms. Fever + photo-sensitivity = flu for sure. They couldn't diagnose if it was regular or H1N1 via phone, but either way they said to give her Tylenol and lots of water.

So imagine the awkward position I was in this morning. I've been working from home a TON lately, mostly because of my nasty infection, and I don't want to lose my job over attendance issues.

But...

Do I go to work to save face, even though I've been sleeping in the same bed as a 3-year-old with the flu? Or do I stay home another day in the hopes of not spreading the germs, but make it look like I just don't care about my job?

It was a tough question, so I emailed my boss and she suggested I work from home today and come back tomorrow if all is well. So I guess that's that.

I feel great today, so hopefully the flu won't sneak up and kick me in the butt tonight...

----

One other thing: my friend Luke Nelson is in town this week, just to spend time with us (and see the state) but we haven't been able to see him due to the sicknesses. He's been stuck driving around with his dad. Poor Luke. Sorry about that. Hopefully we'll get to see you ONCE before you leave town on Thursday...

Who's your daddy?

2009-10-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, I really don't know where the title of this post came from. I decided to sit and write whatever came to mind, and that's what popped out. Take it or leave it.

Actually, this is the Interweb so you can't take it even if you wanted to, unless you know my password (hint: it's STOOPID!). It's here forever!

Which reminds me: did I ever tell you how smart my oldest daughter is? Let me explain...

Yesterday (or perhaps the day before... they all blend together since I'm an old man) I showed her some pictures on my blog that I took when she was five (she is now almost nine). She was mortified that there was a picture of her on my blog with her shirt off (under the post heading: Not Child Porn - seriously!) and she demanded that I delete it. I refused and quickly closed my web browser so she couldn't see anything else.

Imagine my surprise when she opened the web browser, typed my name in the Google search box, and began looking for my blog. Then when I told her not to use Google (she isn't allowed), she clicked on my blog link in the bookmark toolbar, scrolled down to 2006, then to January, and then scrolled down to the picture.

"It's right there! Delete it!" she said.

Thinking I could trick her, I deleted my blog shortcut and closed the browser again. Imagine my further surprise when she clicked on my "Blogger: Dashboard" link and got into the editing portion of my blog. "If you don't delete it, I'll find it and delete it" she said. !!!

Seriously, what kind of nine year old kid can figure out how to use a blogger dashboard to find a post and delete it? How did she learn this?! I'm baffled.

Knowing what kinds of topics are on my blog, I forbade her from reading it and she agreed. Let's hope she keeps that deal...

Anyway, I'm impressed. Oh, and our six-year-old son is learning to read pretty good too. Yesterday we passed a street sign and he said "That says Slow Down." Good job, buddy.

Now if only they were smart enough to clean up after themselves...

Great video!

2009-10-20T11:06:00.001-07:00

Good News / Bad News

2009-10-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Let's play catch up. And by 'catch up' I don't mean to make a pun on the word 'ketchup' and make you think of my wounds. But so be it... :-)

-------

Good News: My infection started out as three separate wounds. Luckily, two of them 'melted' together and then broke open.

Bad News: When the wound broke open, a bunch of nasty stuff came out. Use your imagination. Now I have to change my dressing several times a day while it seeps out.

--

Good News: After the wound broke open (I was sitting in a chair with my shirt off, so it was rather peaceful), most of the pain went away. Hooray!

Bad News: Now the other wound has started growing and is beginning to hurt. Which means... It's going to open soon, giving me two open wounds and two dressings to change. :-(

--

Good News: I've been taking antibiotics for almost a week now. Hopefully they're kicking this bacteria in the butt and getting rid of it.

Bad News: In addition to the oral pills, I also have to put some ointment on a Q-tip and put it in both nostrils twice a day. Seriously.

--

Good News: I'm alive, my kids are doing great, my wife is awesome (and hot!), and I still have a job.

Bad News: Nobody has offered to give me money for the rest of my life so I don't have to work ever again...

Pics of the Grossness

2009-10-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

I know some of you are just clamoring for pics of my latest staph infection. In honor of your request, they are posted below. They don't look as bad as last time for two reasons:

1) I've been on the antibiotics for three days now
2) They weren't sliced open to let the pus out

But let me assure you, I'd rather have one lesion on my thigh than three on my torso ANY day. This really hurts.

And without further ado...

This is the entire infected area. It was much bigger yesterday, so it looks like the pills are working.
This is my new third and fourth nipple. These two stupid 'bug bites' are right next to each other which makes it worse.

And the one on top seems to be doing the best. It is starting to peel! Tasty!

Hello from the Land O' Nasty (and no, it's nothing sexual)

2009-10-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

So, my last post mentioned that Laura and Callie were sick and throwing up. That was Friday night/Saturday morning. What I didn't mention was that on Friday three 'bug bites' appeared on the left side of my abdomen: two next to each other at my belt line and another one about two inches above those.

The 'bites' were annoying - my pants kept brushing up against them, but they weren't a big deal. Until Saturday...

Remember the nasty MRSA infection I had a few months ago? Well, all three 'bites' started to swell up, turn red about an inch in each direction, and form little volcanoes in the middle that I will refer to as pustules. Yummy.

And they hurt. Bad. Every time I moved, whether it was just taking a step or bending down to get in the car, they screamed out in pain.

So Sunday morning I called my doctor. He said "I don't think you need to get in today, just come by tomorrow morning at 7:15 and I'll see you first thing." I thanked him, hung up, then suddenly felt really, really awful.

Apparently I had caught the same bug (flu?) my family had been passing around, because my body felt weak, my limbs felt heavy, and everything hurt. I fell asleep at 2:30 on Sunday afternoon and didn't wake up from my 'nap' until 9:00. I got up, watched an episode of House with my wife, but felt terrible still, so I went back to bed.

Yesterday I went to the doctor. He jabbed one of the pustules (yummy, remember?) with a needle and took a swab to send to the lab. He said: "I think this is just regular staph, not MRSA, but we'll let the lab look at it. Here's a prescription for antibiotics, Vicodin, and some topical cream."

So that's where I'm at today. My side hurts. It hurts really bad. And since I sleep on my stomach normally, my sleep has been full of tossing and turning and my neck has been sore from facing an abnormal way.

But the flu seems to be gone. It's just this stupid infection (ow!) left.

I'm not dead yet! Think I'll go for a walk!

I was interviewed by Stephen Colbert!

2009-10-09T16:50:00.001-07:00

This thing is awesome. You upload a photo, then put in your phone number. It calls and asks you four random questions and you have 5 seconds to respond. Here are my results:

Chuck Norris.

2009-10-09T16:41:00.001-07:00

That's all I have to say about that.

"Lord: Save Us From Your Followers" - the review

2009-10-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

I finally have something to talk about again! I'm not sure what sort of cosmic sinkhole I fell into over the last couple of weeks - I wasn't depressed, per se, but I just felt like everything was moving at an insanely slow rate, so slow that I just couldn't care about anything.

It caused a ruckus at my job, because I somehow overlooked an important email and made a couple of people mad at me. It wasn't a big deal, but it blew up into a big deal and it has taken time to dig myself out of. Avoiding the details, I'll say this: I hate it when people get a misconception about me and assume I am trying to screw them over...

Anyway. Ahem.

Last night I saw a documentary. By myself. In downtown Portland. It was called "Lord: Save Us From Your Followers" and it was a truly great movie. At first, I was a bit put-off by the low-budget look of the film and the narrator/star's cheesiness. But the annoyance didn't last long - probably five minutes or so - and then I was *in* this movie.

The best way I can describe it is to say it is an examination of the intersection of Christianity and culture in America today. The 'star' is a Christian, but he is disappointed by the face of the church today (much as I am) and he wanted to find out why religion seems to be about "issues" and "speaking points" instead of just trying to emulate Christ. And he has a good point...

The film is made up of 'man on the street' interviews, clips of politicians and celebrities, and even some footage of missionary work and humanitarian efforts. There is also a great segment that is a copycat version of The Family Feud that I found particularly engaging.

Even though the creator is a Christian, this movie isn't about blaming anybody or letting bad behavior slide in the name of religion. He takes to task both sides of the God debate and some of the results really surprised me.

For example, I have never liked Al Franken. Not even a little bit. But his interviews in this movie show that underneath his sneer and sarcasm, he is a very intelligent man with a lot of good points. I was actually impressed that he was willing to sit down and logically talk about religion without referring to anybody as a "Big Fat Idiot."

Some of the Christians come off just as well. You almost get the sense that everyone is the same, at the core, and these stupid issues are making it where we won't and even can't listen to the other side of the debate without condescension.

And I suppose that's the point.

After the Family Feud mock-up, the contestants (one team is the Liberal Media Elite and the other is Young Republicans) apparently spent a lot of time together in the green room and got to be friends.

After the program manager of a secular radio station traveled to Africa with a religious group, she decided that this particular group was doing good things and was "good PR" for the U.S., even if she didn't agree with their beliefs.

After the narrator sits down with gay men in Portland (much of the movie was filmed here...) and apologized for his own bad attitude towards homosexuals, you can almost see the philotic web binding him to these strangers (if you don't get the reference, read the Ender's Game series).

I was actually a bit surprised by how 'moved' I was by the film.

But I've saved my favorite part for last. It's a quote from Tony Campolo, a man whose name I didn't know until last night, but who I will not forget.

First he quotes St. Augustine: "The church is a whore, she is also my mother." Then he goes on to explain (paraphrased, of course):

"The church is unfaithful to its vows to the bridegroom Christ. That is clear. It is sinful, divisive, and full of malice. But the same church is also my mother. Without the church, I wouldn't be who I am. The whore has carried on the words of God for thousands of years, and despite all of her unfaithfulness and greed and sin, she has done her job. You can't hate her for it."

That is profound.

If "Lord: Save Us From Your Followers" isn't showing near you, I suggest you look for it when it comes out on DVD. I have a feeling I was lucky to see it in a theater ONLY because it was filmed here. It makes me a bit sad that you won't have the same opportunity.

The movies is rated PG-13, but I don't honestly know why. I guess for the subject matter?

What the?!

2009-09-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've had strange nerve problems in my arm for the past two years. I've blogged about them, but recently they've just been tingling and numbness in my arm.

But today, as I was sitting here at work, my arm (my left arm, if you care) suddenly jerked downwards of its own volition and felt like it was being electrocuted. It only lasted about 1 second, but it was terrible.

Ever since, that arm has been achy/numb off and on.

Any suggestions?

How you doin'?

2009-09-29T16:28:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while my brain hits a 'dry stretch' where I feel like I have nothing to say on this blog. Apparently I'm in the middle of one of those stretches. Sorry about that.

Life continues to plod along, neither slowing down nor speeding up in any significant way. The kids are back in school (it's nice not having one in kindergarten to pick up halfway through the day!) and they seem to be loving it.

Laura is still a cutie, but she's tired most of the time (go figure!) and I don't get to spend nearly enough time with her.

And I'm still working on avoiding bad movies, music, and video games. It's really surprising to see how many people are going through something similar - just this week a Facebook friend talked about her recent media fast and she had responses from several people who were doing it too.

Maybe we've reached the tipping point. Maybe our generation of Christians is finally fed up with the status quo. Maybe a new Reformation is at hand.

I surely hope so. I'm sick and tired of the same old religion.

Anyway, thanks for continuing to check my blog. I'll try to be more diligent about writing. Just for you!

What a bunch of crap.

2009-09-25T10:29:00.001-07:00

This kind of story is why I am skeptical about modern 'scientists' and their reports.

Read the story. It supposedly proves that kids who are spanked have lower IQs. Yet the man who did the research says himself that the study does not prove causality, but rather correlation.

There IS no proof in the article. Yet people will read it, latch on to it, and quote it.

Stupid.

It's the little things that make me smile...

2009-09-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

Life can be great some times (most times, even) but other times it can be a drag. Lately I've felt sluggish, lethargic, and basically worthless. I've tried not to let it get in the way of being a good dad and husband, but I am exhausted all of the time and basically feel like I am running on 70% capacity for some reason.

And yet... There are still little things every day that make me happy to be alive. Here are three recent examples:

1) I helped a lady at work pick out a refrigerator a few months ago. She ended up purchasing it from Best Buy and recently she said "I'll bring in my receipt thing so you can get my Reward points since you helped me."

I seriously doubted Best Buy would let me use a receipt to claim points on a purchase made with someone else's credit card. So I said "sure" and left it at that. Imagine my surprise when she showed up at work not with a receipt, but with a Reward Zone membership card and the access information to her account. "You can log on and have whatever is there," she said.

I logged on and her refrigerator purchase entitled her to a $50 gift certificate. I printed it out and used it to buy stuff I didn't need (video games). Nice!

2) I read an article yesterday online about how cursive isn't really being taught in schools anymore because kids aren't writing by hand much. I thought that makes sense but on further introspection I realized something: signatures on important documents are done in cursive.

"I hope the kids' school teaches cursive so they can at least sign their names," I thought, imagining my kids signing an 'X' instead of their names like uneducated people used to.

So imagine my surprise when I got home tonight and found out that Caitlin is learning cursive - and can basically write her name!

The cutest part: as I was tucking her into bed tonight, I told her I was proud of how she could write her name.

"But I might not do it," she said. "The 'n' on the end is kind of embarrassing."

! LOL She's embarrassed that a cursive 'n' looks like a regular 'm'. :-)

3) Callie has been playing with a Tupperware box the past few days, filling it up with toys and carrying it around. Last night she wanted to sleep with it, but I made her put it on the floor.

"It's my friend," she said. "It talked to me."

"Oh, really? What did it say?"

"He said ***imitating a high-pitched voice*** 'Callie, you're my friend. I'm hungry. Can I sleep with you tomorrow?'"

I laughed. Kids can be so cute sometimes.

Unless she's schizophrenic and really DID hear the box talk. That's not nearly as cute...

Two "fun" quizzes I helped create...

2009-09-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

Most of you know that I work doing marketing for the organization that licenses lawyers in Oregon. But what you might not know is what exactly that job entails.

I'll spare you the day-to-day details, but I thought I'd show you an example of one of my recent projects. I was part of a 3-person team that was tasked with creating two online quizzes to celebrate Oregon's 150th anniversary as a state. One quiz was aimed at the public and was supposed to be somewhat easy and somewhat funny. The other one was aimed at lawyers and was supposed to be ridiculously hard.

You can try both quizzes here:

Public Survey

Attorney Survey

Since these questions deal with Oregon laws, you might not know the answers, but hopefully we designed the quizzes so they are entertaining whether or not you get a correct answer.

Both quizzes have six questions, so they shouldn't take you very long.

The End

Linky

2009-09-21T07:58:00.001-07:00

A special thanks to http://picturecamping.com/blog/ for linking to my blog post about our recent camping trip. :-)

Knowledge is Power!

2009-09-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

My last post was on information and how it does not necessarily lead to wisdom. I want to continue that train of thought, so if you didn’t like that post, please hang up now and try your call again later.

I mentioned an analogy of two measuring cups: one for Faith and one for Knowledge. The Faith cup will never be filled – not even a little bit – because true faith has no proof. It is the knowledge/belief/hope of things that cannot be proven. The Knowledge cup, on the other hand, can be filled one grain of sand (information) at a time throughout your life.

If you read the comments on that particular post, you’ll see a long response by Carl Storm, an old friend from college (Hi, Carl!). And although I don’t necessarily agree with his worldview, I do have to admit that our opinions are more alike than I meant to convey.

For example, Carl discussed how knowledge is power and that is undeniably true. In our world, or at least in a lot of industries in our country, knowledge has trumped labor as the commodity of choice.

I would be a terrible farmer. The actual work involved in producing food for my family would drive me to an early grave, possibly literally. But information is something I have in abundance (compared to most of the world) and it is something I leverage to earn a steady paycheck.

My knowledge of English and how to write are skills that I use to keep food on the table and discs in the DVD player. And those skills are a direct result of education, ergo, knowledge.

But that’s not exactly what I was trying to discuss in my last post. It goes without saying that Knowledge leads to power. We all experience that every day.

My point is this: Knowledge leads to questions and those questions may lead to further knowledge, but that only leads to further questions. It’s like quicksand from that point on.

An example from geometry (and related fields): I understand that there are three dimensions we perceive - length, width, and height. It’s a simple concept. But the concept doesn’t stand by itself. It doesn’t just exist as a singularity.

Thinking about three dimensions causes me to ponder “What happens when an object moves within those dimensions?” That leads to the concepts of forward/backward, right/left, and up/down, which complicate things.

Those thoughts lead to more complex questions: are there more than three dimensions? Is there a way to move instantaneously within the three dimensions? What if time is the fourth dimension – how does that affect the first three? What would a fourth-dimension being see if they looked at our 3-dimensional universe?

And so on.

Pursuit of a simple fact leads to a whole realm of questions that we may or may not have answers to at this point in time. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, necessarily. We wouldn’t have any scientific progress or any new thoughts at all if this fact weren’t true.

But it does have a profound affect on the analogy I made up. The Knowledge cup might have more grains in it over time, but the amount of things we realize we may possibly know will continue to grow at a faster rate, making the actual rate of growth negative.

I know that’s hard to make sense of, but I believe it is true. The more you learn, the less you know.

Information vs. Ignorance

2009-09-11T23:23:00.000-07:00

What is it with us humans and the quest for knowledge?

Imagine for a minute, if you will, the first two humans sitting together in the garden of Eden.

Food is plentiful and easy to get. The weather is perfect - no clothes required. You don't have to work. You don't have to flirt - you have the perfect mate already. You don't have to impress anybody.

And yet there's a pesky tree, sitting there in the middle of the garden; a tree called The Knowledge of Good and Evil.

The tree mocks you: I know something you don't. I understand something that is unfathomable to you. In my fruit exists a whole new world of opportunity...

That's ultimately what tempted Eve, right? The serpent told her "surely you won't die if you eat of this fruit" and she believed him. She wanted so badly to gain this secret, this hidden knowledge, that she was willing to disobey God himself.

And look what happened. That bite of fruit, that new knowledge, sent humanity on a one-way trip to pain, suffering, and hard work.

So why is it that modern Christians still think (to some degree) that knowledge is power?

Let's face it - if you knew everything that every human being had ever knew, you'd only know a tiny percentage of all knowledge that exists in the universe. Every single decision we make, every 'law of nature' we believe in, is based on a very finite understanding of the way our universe works.

Imagine for a moment that you have two measuring cups. One measures Faith, the other measures Knowledge.

For every time your faith is proven to be true, you add a grain of sand to the Faith cup. For every bit of knowledge you learn, you add a grain of sand to the Knowledge cup.

Over the course of a human life, how full will those cups become?

The Faith cup, by the very nature of Faith, remains empty. The Knowledge cup, on the other hand, fills up a tiny bit. We learn math, reading, a bit of science, some foreign languages... It's still tiny compared to the knowledge that exists, but it is something.

And that's the problem.

We look at our Faith cup and say "This hasn't changed in 30 years. My faith is still the same."

And we look at the Knowledge cup and say "Look how much I've gained! The cup is starting to fill!"

And by comparing the two, it appears as if knowledge has improved our lives more than faith. Thus it appears that knowledge is better for a person than faith. It gives us more return on our 'investment.'

But I disagree with this idea on a very fundamental basis. You see, the Faith cup might never fill up. That's true. But the Knowledge cup is an illusion. With every grain of sand we put in, the cup gets deeper and wider. The knowledge never actually gets us anywhere - if anything, it only raises new and more complex questions.

But the Faith cup stays the same size. So proportionally, it is always closer to "full" than the Knowledge one.

To sum up: knowledge looks good. People who know a lot of facts or processes that work in our world tend to think they have things figured out. But do not be deceived. Knowledge does NOT equal wisdom. Pursuing knowledge for the sake of knowledge is futile.

What do YOU think?

2009-09-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

Wow. this inspirational story is on NPR? Who would have guessed?

That's the kind of life I want to live. Simple and serving.

Review: "Curse Your Branches" by David Bazan

2009-09-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

“Curse Your Branches” is not for the faint of heart or the weak of spirit. Let me say that straight out of the gate. The album is heavy, dense, and full of theological questions that show a person slipping away from the religious beliefs they’ve held for most of their life and into a world of agnosticism.

David Bazan, former frontman for Pedro the Lion and the band Headphones, has stated in interviews (linked below) that this album is 90% autobiographical. If that is true, then listening to the album becomes even more emotional as you realize just what this man has been going through over the past several years.

As a CD – as a work of music, the album is spectacular. It maintains the string of high-quality Pedro/Bazan releases while adding in several surprising musical choices into the mix to keep things interesting. As a long-time fan of Bazan’s work, I was completely satisfied with the quality of the lyrics, the intimacy of the themes, and the sounds of the music.

There are several songs on the album that I had heard previously through live recordings (and one song that was on the recent “Ghosts of the Past” release by Starflyer 59 – a band Bazan played in briefly), but Bazan managed to change them enough for the final recordings that they still sound fresh and new. He switched up the tempos, rearranged the instrumentation, and on one song, even added a choir of Bazan clones singing along in harmony (if my ears don’t deceive me…).

Having said all of that, having praised the quality of the music and the songcraft in this CD, I urge you to tread cautiously if you are a Christian. Bazan’s words and thoughts – even the timbre of his voice – all underline a strong rejection of fundamental Christianity that might just cause you to form your own doubts.

Take the songs “When We Fell”:

“With the threat of hell hanging over my head like a halo
I was made to believe in a couple of beautiful truths
That eventually had the effect of completely unravelling
The powerful curse put on me by you

When you set the table
When you chose the scale
Did you write a riddle
That you knew they would fail
Did you make them tremble
So they would tell the tale
Did you push us when we fell

If my mother cries when I tell her what I have discovered
Then I hope she remembers she taught me to follow my heart
And if you bully her like you’ve done me with fear of damnation
Then I hope she can see you for what you are

What am I afraid of
Whom did I betray
In what medieval kingdom does justice work that way
If you knew what would happen
And you made us just the same
Then you my Lord can take the blame.”

-----

Like I said: these songs are dense. Bazan isn’t afraid to cry out to God in his frustration, but the God he is crying out to isn’t the one most Christians today would recognize. Other songs hold similar themes with questions about how God could possibly make a world so full of evil if He is inherently good. And still others deal with Bazan’s struggles with alcoholism.

These aren’t ‘milk’ issues for Christians. His turn to agnosticism is very real, but in a way he is really trying to get into the ‘meat’ of theology and find for himself an internal logic that makes things fit the idea of a God he would willingly serve.

To put it another way: David Bazan hasn’t given up on God, but he has reached a point in his life where either God has been misrepresented by our society (a notion I can get with) or God is so uncaring that He is not worth serving at all.

The first two times I listened to this album, I was upset. It made me feel ill. The ideas contained in these songs do NOT represent the God I serve and love. And yet… I can see how Bazan reached these conclusions. I can see how screwed up things are. And I can’t blame him for questioning.

So how’s that for a CD review? I love this album, but only recommend it to atheists or Christians who aren't afraid to seriously consider theological questions.

I was so intrigued by the songs that I looked up some interviews with David Bazan. You can read them at these two links (beware: lots of strong language):

Chicago Reader Interview

http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/the-passion-of-david-bazan/Content?oid=1169181 if the link doesn't work

Emusic Interview

http://www.emusic.com/features/spotlight/2009_200908-qa-bazan.html if the link doesn't work.

Stupid links.

Review: "Inside These Walls" by Rob Blackledge

2009-09-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

A guy, a piano, and a guitar. It's a musical convention that has been around for ages, with plenty of variation in style and tone. Billy Joel is known as the 'piano man' because he wrote a song about it, but his whole career is based on a guy and a piano.

Paul Simon is the same way - his music is usually pretty simple without much instrumentation. It's a guy with a piano or guitar. And it works.

But not every guy + piano + guitar act is from the 70's. Lately artists like Jason Mrasz and Jack Johnson have made excellent CDs that are simple, melodic, and easy to listen to.

And let me tell you this: if you like those guys, you will LOVE Rob Blackledge. "Inside These Walls" is his debut album and it is amazing. It is full of the kind of song that sounds familiar - like you've been singing along for years - yet fresh. The compositions are usually pretty simple, yet Blackledge manages to surprise with variations from the standard 'Verse Chorus Verse Chorus Bridge Chorus' formula we're all used to.

From the first track on the album, "Should've Known Better," it is clear that he knows how to write a good tune. The melody is catchy, Blackledge's voice is strong and clear, and there are little moments of surprise where he harmonizes or hangs onto a note in an unexpected way that gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it.

It's really strange, because if you read the reviews I've written in the past, most of them involve loud guitars, a bit of screaming, and some heavy drumbeats. Most people wouldn't expect me to enjoy this kind of music.

But Rob Blackledge does such a great job at crafting good songs that you can't help but enjoy it. Even a song like "Early Morning Riser" is awesome, if the lyrics are less than cool:

"Midnight street walker / Roaming the streets at a quarter to four
Early morning riser / Making his way to the corner store.
All of this reminds me / The sun is going to rise over you and me."

Seriously, it takes talent to take a random observation ("Hey, there's a streetwalker and a guy going to the convenience store!") and turn them into a song that I want to hear multiple times. And Blackledge has that talent.

Although I love this album and will listen to it continuously in the future, I have one complaint: it seems that Blackledge grew up in a Baptist church and almost became a professional baseball player. For all of that life experience and his desire to be a musician, I can't help but be slightly put off by the focus of his songs which can be summed up thusly:

1) I want a woman.
2) I feel lonely on tour.

But even with that small complaint, I urge you to try out this album. You can listen to some of the songs here.

"Inside These Walls" is set to be released on September 15, 2009 and I think it is well worth your money. Go get it or I'll kick you in the teeth.

Camping Part 4: The Suck

2009-09-05T01:12:00.000-07:00

So I ended the last section of our camping trip on Friday evening after I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by myself. Remember?

After that, Laura and I put the kids to bed in the tent, then sat around the campfire with a few of the guys (I don't know why all of the other women went to bed, but they did). I tried some banana [REDACTED] one of the guys had [REDACTED] - it was delicious and tasted a bit like banana bread! - and I shared some [REDACTED] with one of the men while we sat around.

Oh, and before that, I borrowed an A/C air pump and an extension cord and inflated our mattress inside the tent the rest of the way. It was sooo much more comfortable!

So as we settled into bed, I fell asleep pretty easily. The long hike, the [REDACTED], and the firmer mattress helped me along...

When I woke up, it was 3:30 in the morning and Callie was fussing. Laura and I were trying to calm her down when Ethan started making this sound:

"Uhhhhhhn. Uhhhhhhn!"

"What's wrong, buddy?" I asked.

"Huhhhhhhn!"

"Ethan?" Laura asked. "What's wrong, honey?"

"I feel sick!"

That was the last thing I wanted to hear in a cramped tent at 3:30 a.m., but there was nothing I could do but cross my fingers and hope for the best.

The best didn't happen, of course. The worst came to visit.

Ethan proceeded to puke all over himself as he lay in a little triangle-shaped wedge between the two air mattresses.

"Oh, great!" I said. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Laura answered as she switched on the hanging ceiling fan light (which I KNEW would come in handy!).

With the light on, Ethan's sickness grew and I got to watch as he threw up again, but this time he was sitting up so it went all over his sleeping bag, his stuffed animal, his pillow - everything.

Laura and I discussed what to do. I had fallen asleep in my clothes, so I got up and hiked over to the camp bathroom to see if I could find a trash bag.

No such luck.

"That's it," I said. "We have to leave. Let's load up."

"No, I'm not leaving," Laura answered. "Hand me those Kleenex..."

She proceeded to strip Ethan down, wad up all of the soiled things to throw outside, and scoop up the leftover puke with Kleenex. Gross.

After she had deposited his soiled stuff on the parking pad, she lay back down in bed with him between us and said "See? We can stay."

Sure, I thought. We can stay in this puke-smelling, nasty tent all night. Sure we can. And I don't look like a sasquatch with my shirt off either, right?

But amazingly I managed to fall asleep (after getting used to the smell!) and when I woke up again, it was morning and our fellow campers had made breakfast.

Everything after that was fine until I started to load up our stuff to go home. I let the air out of our mattress and as I began to fold it up, my hand touched something wet. And salmon colored. And chunky.

I took a quick sniff and realized that yes, I had just stuck my hand in a small puddle of puke Laura had missed (how dare her!) in the middle of the night.

Disgusted - but having not showered in two days - I wiped my hand on my jeans and finished loading things up. We managed to find someone in our group who had large garbage bags, so we were able to stuff Ethan's nastiness into a bag (which the raccoons had conveniently left alone) and tie it up for the trip home.

After a quick lunch at Sizzler (motto: not the best food at a terrible price!) we finally made it home.

I look forward to our next camping trip.

Uh-huh.

A genius idea

2009-09-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

Powerpoint Karaoke. Never heard of it? Neither had I until I watched this video. And the idea is perfect.

Make someone stand up and give a presentation using a Powepoint slideshow they've never seen before. Hilarity ensues. I'm going to use this idea, I promise.

People of Wal-Mart

2009-09-03T14:26:00.001-07:00

People of Wal-Mart is a website with pictures that people across America have taken at Wal-Mart stores.

It's amusing, yet I feel bad for being so amused by it.

Camping Part 3: Friday

2009-09-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

I woke up Friday morning at 7:30 to the usual campground sounds of loud people, crackling fires, and kids on bicycles. I struggled to go back to sleep and my lovely wife, bless her pregnant heart, got the kids up and let me sleep another hour or so.

When I woke up again, I heard "Where's Dustin?"

"He's still sleeping. He's in a bad mood."

I quickly threw on some clothes, stumbled out into the sunlight, and said "Who's in a bad mood? I feel great! I'm camping!"

Oddly enough, it was true. I DID feel great. I was ready for a great day at the state park. Until I heard the rest of the group talking...

"It's 7.9 miles total," someone said.

"We'll leave in 30 minutes," someone else said.

"How many waterfalls are there?"

"There are 10..."

Thank goodness I'm not hiking 8 miles today, I thought. There's no way I'd do that.

So of course you know where I ended up about an hour later...

To be honest, the hike was fun. We saw some gorgeous waterfalls - including getting to go behind them and see cool 'vents' going straight up through the rock - and the weather was great.

What wasn't great was going on a hike with three kids, one of them just two years old. Getting Callie to walk was, to create a cliche', was like trying to make a 2-year-old hike up a mountain.

It wasn't easy.

By the time we reached the first fork in the road, we had seen two of the ten waterfalls and had hiked approximately 2 miles. "Who wants to go for the full hike and who wants to quit now?" someone asked.

"I quit," I said.

I wanted to make an excuse: "The kids need a nap" or "Laura is pregnant" or "I'm a lazy turd with a desk job and 30 pounds of extra weight" but I didn't give a reason. Everyone knew in advance that I would quit.

Unfortunately for me, however, the 'quit' path was an additional one mile. Uphill. On switchbacks.

Let me tell you, that trek wasn't easy. It was Laura and I, our three kids, another adult man (Dan) and one of his kids. At every turn in the switchbacks, I wanted to stop and rest. You see, Callie refused to walk anymore. She was 'too tired' and I was carrying her. She's not big, but she ain't little either, and it was not fun.

I created a game (a lie) for Callie that went like this: "For every 100 steps you walk, I'll carry you 100 steps."

I wasn't counting, of course, I just made her walk until she started to s l o w w a y d o w n... Then I would carry her for a while. After several switches back and forth, she caught on and began to say "I did 100 steps" after a few steps.

Smart kid.

When we finally made it back to camp - after a stop for lunch at a cafe in the park - I wanted nothing more than to lay down and pass out. I loves me some naps, and the tent seemed downright cozy as it started to drizzle outside.

But unfortunately for me, I'm a gentleman (sometimes) and my wife needed the nap more than I. So I let her nap with Callie while I sat out in the rain with the two big kids doing nothing.

Not nothing exactly; I watched the kids ride bikes, I played a DS game, watched the kids ride bikes, played a DS game... Okay, it was boring. But at least I was outside in nature, right?

After Laura's nap I laid down and rested for an hour or two and when I woke up, everyone had eaten hamburgers and hot dogs (which I don't like) so I made myself a peanut butter sandwich and ate supper on my own.

And that brings us to the evening of Friday, night two of our two-night extravaganza.

Camping Part 2: The First Night

2009-09-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

So we drove to Silver Falls State Park, which is located about an hour and 45 minutes from our house. It’s a nice drive through some beautiful hills and forests (at least after you leave the interstate…) and since we had never been there, we relied on our good old GPS unit to guide us on our way.

The group we were meeting at the park consists of several families from the church we used to attend when we lived on the other side of town. These families are part of a small group (called Homebuilders) that meets on Friday nights and attending the Homebuilders group was one of my favorite parts of living out east. They are nice folks, many of them have kids that can play with ours, and perhaps most importantly, I don’t annoy them much.

Or at least they’re nice enough to pretend that I don’t annoy them. :-)

In any case, they all know that I don’t like to go camping. Many of them read my blog on a regular basis. So it was nice to pull into the campsite and immediately have a swarm of people helping us get settled in.

The men helped me stake out the tent and air up the mattresses. The women played with our kids and helped Laura unload food items. It was just generally a fun time.

Coincidentally, our campsite was sort of in the center of them all and we had a lot of open space (since the lying tent manufacturer tricked us into getting such a small tent!), so as a fire was built and food was brought out, most of the campers ended up in our area to socialize.

You know how I complain on my blog that I don’t have any Christian friends to socialize with? Well, this is the type of activity I’ve been missing. Just hanging out, munching on snacks and telling stories about life was fantastic. It felt like we hadn’t moved away more than a year ago and abandoned them all…

After a while we got the kids ready for bed, then I laid down with them while Laura stayed up chatting some more. I tossed and turned on the crappy, crowded, not-quite-filled-up-all-the-way mattress and found myself unable to sleep, even after Laura came to bed. I must have laid there for a couple of hours before I realized that Laura was still awake too.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

“Nope. You?”

“Nope. And I’m hungry.”

“Me too. Starving.”

So Laura snuck out to the van and grabbed some food for us. Looking at the clock, I realized that it was 2:30 in the morning and I was eating a snack with my wife in a tent in the middle of nowhere by the light of a magnetic camping ceiling fan. Fantastic.

After the snack, we discussed what to do with the leftover snacks. Our fellow campers had already had a run-in with some raccoons that were eating their dog’s food, so we knew we shouldn’t leave the food in our tent. But it was cold outside. And I hate cold, so we just sealed everything up as best as we could and went to bed.

---------

Imagine a tiny tent crammed with five people, a couple of rolling suitcases, and two air mattresses. As you can imagine, my head was basically touching one corner of the tent.

That’s why I was so freaked out when I woke up to an odd noise inches from my face. It was still dark and my family was still asleep, but right on the other side of a little piece of fabric (or whatever tents are made of… mylar?) there was an animal of some kind sniffing around.

It kept making a sound like one of the small dinosaurs on Jurassic Park – sort of an Eee-eeee Eeeee-eeee. Like it was calling out to its friends to say “There’s a tasty man face over here we can eat if we just unwrap it.”

Freaking out mildly, I wiggled away from the wall of the tent and into Callie, who was sleeping between Laura and I. After about 10 seconds I heard the animal moving away, calling out “Eeee-eeeeee Eee-eeeee!” the whole time.

Stupid raccoon. Or pterodactyl. Or whatever.

And then it was morning...

A rip-rap rippity doo!

2009-09-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

I couldn't get these videos to embed, so you'll have to click over to get them.

Fraction Rap!

Vanilla Stupid.

I shouldn't enjoy this so much...

2009-09-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

The ending is worth it.

Review: "In Shallow Seas We Sail" by Emery

2009-08-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

I didn't review "In Shallow Seas We Sail" when it first came out because I was a bit conflicted about this album. Emery is one of the few real emo/screamo bands I still like and for good reason: their songs use unique melodies and harmonies, but in a way that sounds natural. Or to put it another way: I can sing along with this stuff.

That's not to say there isn't screaming in Emery's music - quite the contrary. But as opposed to a lot of screamo out there (I'm looking at you, Underoath!) the screaming usually comes at an emotional point in the song and lyrics so it doesn't seem like a gimmick. It's a natural outpouring of the music.

So that's what made me so conflicted about this new album. The first couple of songs contain a lot more screaming than I anticipated and I had a hard time finding the melody lines of the songs. No melody lines = no singing along = sad TacoDave.

And yet...

The album kept calling me back to it. And after a few times through, I realized that if I just skipped the first two tracks, the rest of the album was utterly fantastic. In fact, if the first two tracks hadn't been included, I would have loved this album from the first day.

Driving to the store tonight, I found myself singing along and LOVING the music. In fact, I almost wanted to stay in the car when I got home just to hear one more song.

And that's the highest praise I can give an album.

If you like this genre of music or if you don't know what I'm talking about, check out Emery here. Just be sure not to judge the whole album by the track "Cutthroat Collapse" which is the first song to load on their page. It is definitely NOT my favorite.

Part 1: The Preparations

2009-08-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

So what do you do if you don't ever go camping, but you decide to do it? The only other time in my adult life that I've slept in a tent, we borrowed it (and the rest of the supplies) from my father-in-law. But this time we wanted to do it 'on our own' (which is ironic, considering how things turned out), so we hit up a nearby store that was having a sale on all camping equipment.

The first thing that caught my eye was a combination light and ceiling fan that hangs to the roof of a tent via magnet. Consider it mine! (for $25)

Then I found sleeping bags on sale for only $13. I'll take four, please!

Air mattresses on sale? How many do we need? Who knows?! Let's get a double-depth queen and two regular twins. That should work, right?

And if we get air mattresses, we're going to need an air pump. I'm lazy, and there's no guarantee we'll have AC power, so I'll get one that plugs into the cigarette lighter in the car. $25. Cha-ching!

With all of this junk loaded up, we had one big decision to make: which tent to buy. Currently we have two adults and three kids, but starting next year we'll have four kids. So do we get the 8-person tent or make do with the 5-person, then get another tent next year...?

Unfortunately, our decision was made for us. There was only one "8-person" tent left, but there was a note taped to it that said "Wrong tent in bag." We checked and sure enough, the tent inside was a different color than it was supposed to be.

So with no 8-person tents, we decided to go with the 5-person. There's five of us. That should be perfect, right?

Let me stop and explain something quickly: tent manufacturers are liars. LIARS!

Sure, you might fit five people in that tent if they didn't have anything with them (no backpacks, no suitcases, no changes of clothing, etc.) and if three of the five were midgets.

But I guarantee you that you wouldn't fit five normal people in that tent with their belongings (stupid liars!). Of course, we didn't find this out until later, so we ended up buying it...

Total money spent on preparations: over $400.

Laura made some snacks, we loaded up the car, we shoved in the kids' bicycles (don't ask me how!), and on Thursday evening at 6:30 we started driving towards Silver Falls State Park.

...

A camping trip. In several parts.

2009-08-30T00:19:00.001-07:00

If you found the five people in the world who know me best and asked them to name something I would NEVER do, you might hear several things: Eat a hamburger. Climb a mountain. Stop arguing.

But I can guarantee you that you'd find one thing on the list without a doubt: I don't go camping.

I love living in Oregon. I can see the beauty of God's creation from the comfort of my air-conditioned car or out the window of my air-conditioned bedroom. But however much I enjoy seeing nature, I hate, hate, hate! interacting with nature.

Throw in the facts that I hate being dirty, I hate being wet, and I hate being hot or cold, and you can see why I'm not big on camping.

Yet that's where I found myself this weekend, and it was my own choice even.

Some old church-mates (I'd call them friends, but they're like 50 years old or something - really ancient) messaged me on Facebook and asked if we wanted to go on their annual small group camping trip. I could have ignored them. I could have said no. I could have 'forgotten' to tell Laura about it.

But I volunteered. After all, my kids LOVE camping, so the nice thing would be to suck it up for a few days and give them a trip to remember. Plus, sometimes (very rarely) I like to broaden my horizons and experience things that don't involve malls or movie theaters (or Best Buy).

And I must have been drunk. :-)

So my next few posts will be about our camping trip. I guarantee you that the story is a typical Dopps vacation story. Nothing ever goes quite as we plan it, and this time was no exception. But you'll have to wait for the details. I'm tired and want to sleep in my own bed.

G'night!

Face in Hole

2009-08-27T11:19:00.001-07:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

It's new and improved!

2009-08-25T23:38:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of the band tHE Bonhoeffers?

I was listening to the band Emery today on my way home from work and I was impressed by how they blended different sounds together. There's a bit of punk, a bit of alternative, a bit of screamo - and everything blends together so well.

But the really fascinating thing to me is the tempo and time signature of the music. It goes from fast, staccato beats to slow melodrama instantly, which significantly changes the dynamics of the song (and my emotional reaction to it).

But guess where I first heard such a change? That's right, tHE Bonhoeffers.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I was once a member of the band. That much is true. But the iteration of the band I am referring to happened after I was an ex-member (for reasons I won't go into again). In fact, the exact moment I am remembering was the first concert I saw them at as an audience member after several months of absence.

The band was playing at a small church in who-knows-where, Nebraska. I knew that they were planning on playing new music I had never heard, and I also knew that when I left the band, the music had been mostly 3-chord progression punk with a bit of pop thrown in.

So imagine my surprise when the first song started out fast, then got really slow (and quiet - the distortion was turned off), then got fast and loud again, then got quiet.

I have to admit - I hated it. I thought that my brother had screwed up. Music didn't sound like that. It was so different than anything I had heard before, that it left me confused and unsure.

And yet... It grew on my quickly. Suddenly the songs that went from loud and fast to slow and quiet became my favorites. I realized that the emotional build-up from one part of the song to another was full of tension / release, tension / release. And it was brilliant.

That's what Emery reminded me of today. tHE Bonhoeffers might not have gone anywhere after 1999. They might be dead. But I truly believe they were ahead of the genre curve - and I'm speaking specifically of the time after I was out of the band. They were pre-Emo. Pre-Screamo. They were revolutionary. And I'm glad I was there to witness it.

An impolite letter...

2009-08-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bonehead:

I purposely waited to see the new Harry Potter movie because I have a tendency to get annoyed in crowded movie theaters.

Quite annoyed.

So when I went on Wednesday night at 6:55 p.m., three weeks after the movie came out in theaters, I expected the theater to be pretty empty. And it was. There were only 7 or 8 other people in the theater besides me, and they were all sitting in staggered positions so that nobody blocked the view of anybody else.

So why, please tell me why, did you come in just before the movie started and sit directly in front of me? There were at least 100 other empty chairs - heck, the entire row you sat in was empty! - but you chose to sit directly in front of me.

Have you no shame? Or sensibilities? Or common courtesy?

I got up and moved over a seat to keep my unobstructed view when I noticed something else. I could hear you both chowing down on popcorn (especially you, Mr. Bonehead) from behind you.

If you were sitting behind ME and I could hear you, it would be annoying. But if I can hear you from behind YOU, well, you're just a pig.

Thanks for once again proving me right: modern movies have turned into rubbish. I'll keep my Blu-Ray and HDTV, thanks.

Sincerely,

TacoDave

What the?!

2009-08-21T12:54:00.001-07:00

Chilling Video

2009-08-21T11:23:00.001-07:00

Wow.

Review: "The Fear of God" by Showbread

2009-08-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

I really like some of Showbread's music. In fact, this video is one of my favorite songs of theirs and it is also a great video in its own right. Listen to it. I dare you.

That being said, sometimes Showbread gets too screamy for my tastes. Sometimes the screaming overwhelms the songs and makes them almost unbearable. Their first two albums on Tooth and Nail ("No, Sir, Nihilism Is Not Practical" and "Age of Reptiles") had several really good songs mixed with several scream-o songs that I would skip.

And then came "Anorexia" and "Nervosa" - two albums that came out on the same day that are almost entirely screaming and discordant noise. I've only listened to them a couple of times each, and I've never been able to make it through the whole album (either one!) in one sitting.

So imagine my surprise when the new Showbread album "The Fear of God" turned out to be 90% great music with only a few tracks of noise.

Showbread calls their sound Raw Rawk and that's a good description of the great songs on this album. They rock (er, rawk). They are a mixture of punk, emo, industrial, and synthesizer that blends into something loud yet singable.

Don't get me wrong - there is still plenty of noise and still plenty of screaming. But the songs feel more like songs now and less like noisy chaos. You can check out one of the new songs here to see what I mean. I like this song quite a bit.

So if you liked the first two Showbread CDs (on Tooth and Nail, anyway), you should definitely check this one out. I was pleasantly surprised. But if you are one of the few fans of "Anorexia" and "Nervosa," I'm sorry to tell you that the old Showbread is back. :-)

Jump in the Shark Tank with me!

2009-08-17T16:45:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought there couldn’t be any new good ideas for a reality TV show…

Let’s face it: we’ve seen shows with competitions. We’ve seen ones where people vote each other out. We’ve seen ones with desperate celebrities (or near-celebs, anyway). We’ve seen ones that highlight fat people, ‘average’ people, beauties, geeks, and the whole gamut of humanity.

So when I tuned in to “Shark Tank” last week, I was prepared for a new version of The Apprentice. I was prepared to watch people bicker and fight while trying to win money.

What I found, however, was something so much better. So much more. So entertaining.

Let me see if I can sum up the show:

There are five ‘rich investors’ who have successful businesses already. They sit behind a table sort of like American Idol judges. They’re all from different backgrounds and have made their money in various ways, but they are all driven to become involved in new chances to make money.

There are no competitions. The ‘contestants’ never meet each other. There aren’t silly costumes, messy stunts, or anything else. Instead, each ‘contestant’ comes into the room and tells the ‘sharks’ about an idea or product they have that they think will make money. They offer the sharks a stake in their business idea in exchange for cash.

Then the sharks decide whether or not to invest in the idea or company.

That’s it. Repeat for one hour and you’ve got an episode.

But for such a simple concept, it is fascinating. Take an example from last night’s episode:

A man invented a device that hooks into your car and won’t let the engine start until the driver’s seat belt is buckled. He lost a loved one in a car crash and wants his product to hit the market to save lives, profit be damned. He owns the patent, the licensing, the device – he has everything ready for production, but he hasn’t managed to sell the concept to a car manufacturer yet.

The sharks LOVE the concept. One offers the man this deal: “I’ll give you $500,000 right now if you give me everything – 100% of your company, the patent, the licensing – everything.”

Another shark, smelling the blood (or money) in the water, jumps in: “I’ll give you a better deal. I’ll give you $1 million for everything. Cash.”

The man, seeming confused, says “It’s not about money. I don’t care about money. I want this product on store shelves or installed in new cars.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll sell this. We’ll make a lot of money,” the shark tells him.

But the man refuses. “It’s not about money. I’m going to sell this. I don’t want you buying it and keeping it on the shelf.”

Shark: “What?! Why do you think I’d give you $1 million for it? I plan on selling it! I will do my best to get it in every car in America. Can you not understand that?”

Man: “Sorry, but no.”

And he left without selling his idea.

The whole process was fascinating, but what struck me most was this: the man’s idealism stood in the way of him achieving exactly what he wanted. If he had accepted the deal, he’d have $1 million PLUS the device would be marketed aggressively. By turning down the deal, he defeated himself without knowing it!

Another interesting example? A guy invented a Bluetooth phone that is surgically implanted in your head. The sharks laughed him out of the room and called him a nutcase.

I can’t wait to see another new episode. It’s like “America’s Next Great Inventor” stripped down to the good parts with the filler removed. Please, please, please watch it so it doesn’t get canceled.

The End.

Review: "Stockholm Syndrome" by Derek Webb

2009-08-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

Note: This album releases on September 1. Please know that it will not be available immediately after this review is posted.

-------------

First things first: I LOVE this album. Seriously, I'm not sure what I expected when I first put it in, but it has grown on me in multiple ways. And now that I'm done gushing...

I wasn't a fan of Derek Webb's earlier work. He was a member of Caedmon's Call back in the day and while their music was okay, it was a bit too mainstream for me. The same can be said for his earlier solo work - it was folky, but ultimately it fell on the scale somewhere between contemporary Christian radio and stuff my mom would listen to. In other words, I didn't like it.

But this new album is fantastic. It is a complete departure from Webb's previous work - this isn't folksy, in-your-face contemporary Christian. Instead, he has adopted a self-proclaimed "inorganic" sound that falls somewhere on the spectrum of Moby/Radiohead/Hello Goodbye.

The music is obviously produced. The instruments sound fake. It's like a lite version of electronica - and not the European version with a hip dance beat, but rather the slowed-down American melancholy electroncia. And yet...

The music style is perfect.

Webb obviously has a fascination with different genres of music. The album jumps from modern top-40's sound to 50's crooning to 70's disco without missing a beat. And while that sounds like it could be distracting, it isn't. It's as if each song exists in it's own time period, yet all are part of the same organic (or inorganic, I suppose) whole.

The mood is slow and pondering. The beats are deliberate and sometimes monotonous. And it flows together wonderfully.

But what does it sound like? I like to compare new music to existing bands, but this is a hard one to peg down. "Stockholm Syndrome" takes some cues from Radiohead and Devendra Banhart (especially on track 4 - "Freddie, Please"). It also sometimes sounds like Moby or Hello Goodbye. And other times it gives off a distinctive 1990's Christian music vibe (think "77's" or "The Prayer Chain"). But all in all it is distinct, melodic, and just what I wanted.

Perhaps the the most impressive thing, though, is Webb's lyrics. The term 'stockholm syndrome' refers to kidnap victims who fall in love with their captors. Webb's lyrics in this album refer to mankind's tendency to become captive to the world and even fall in love with the world.

And if you've been reading my blog for very long, you know that this is an issue I've been struggling with recently. It's as if Webb has been experiencing the same struggles at the same time. It is really uncanny.

Take the lyrics from "Spirit vs. Kick Drum," which might be my favorite track:

"I don't want the Spirit/I want the kick drum..." - Most modern Christians don't want to have their life actually impacted by the Spirit, they just want to feel excited and happy.

"I don't want the Son/I want a jury of peers..." - Most modern Christians don't want to compare themselves to a perfect, holy God, but they'd rather compare themselves to the rest of their peers. 'I don't cuss as much as him...'

"I don't want the father/I want a vending machine..." - Most modern Christians want God to give them a perfect life, but they don't plan on every doing anything for Him.

Each verse deals with a different facet of God and how our human side wants something contrary to God's design. They're simple and catchy (especially with the disco vibe going on), yet they're subtle and deep.

"Becoming A Slave" has a similar theme when Webb sings "Becoming a slave is easier than you think..." This is so true. I am still a slave to pop culture to some extent and I never noticed the descent.

I agree, Derek. Wholeheartedly.

Seriously, if you like any of the same music as me or if you like independent-sounding artists, I urge you to try this album. I am so happy I found it/it found me. It isn't overtly Christian (at least not in the "We love God, life is good, let's hold hands" kind of way) and I really feel the music is unique but not off-putting.

Consider me a fan, Derek. Good job.

Check out one of the songs here (although this isn't on the album I received, it is a good representative). For more, click here.

Picking Apart the Public at the Pizza Parlor

2009-08-14T00:03:00.000-07:00

Here are three random things I observed while the kids were playing on the pizza parlor playground this evening. Laura and Caitlin were at a cake-decorating class, so it was just me, Ethan, and Callie. All three were conversations from different parties (or patrons if you prefer)...

1) Mom: "What do we say before we eat? Say it. 'God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for the food. Amen.'"

Kids: "Mumble mumble."

My thoughts: I sure hope their faith is deeper than a silly rhyme at dinner time. But honestly, much of my life has been spent in religious tradition that was no deeper, so does it really matter?

Mom: "Let's celebrate your hard day of fishing."

Dad: "You both caught your first fish!"

Mom: "Hooray for the first fish!"

And they clinked glasses of coke.

2) Dad: "Should I write down instructions so you can find your way back to the hotel?"

Friend: "No, thanks. I've got my iPhone. It will tell me."

Dad: "IPhones are awesome. I forgot they did that. We don't have anything like that."

Mom: "We're usually a step behind in technology. We just got our first laptop last week!"

My thoughts: A step behind?! More like a generation!

3) A lady came out of the playground area carrying a small mixed-race girl. "Do you see your daddy in here?" she asked.

Girl: "Un-uh."

The lady looked at me with a look that said "I know this is your daughter, why won't you speak up?" but I just stared blankly at her.

I watched her carry the girl all around the restaurant, stopping several times in front of me and saying "You don't see anyone you know?"

Girl: "Un-uh."

The lady started to take the girl back into the play area when a large white woman came bursting out of a side room.

New lady: "Oh! Was she taking her clothes off again?!"

It was then I noticed that the little girl wasn't wearing pants. Large lady took the girl and disappeared.

My thoughts: awkward.

Review: "Risk Everything" by Nathan Lee

2009-08-11T18:38:00.000-07:00

UPDATED REVIEW: A few days later...

I have to admit something: although my criticism of this album as being slightly cheesy is still true, I've found myself listening to it quite frequently over the past few days. And yes, I've been singing along.

So I want to upgrade my previous review to say that this album really grew on me - or at least the first four or five songs did. Definitely give it a try.

--------

First things first: this is a review of an advance copy of a CD that will be released on September 1. So if you like the music, remember to look for it AFTER September 1.

----------

I had never heard of Nathan Lee before I received this CD in the mail. Apparently he is somewhat popular in Nashville - selling out concerts and such - but his style of music isn't quite a perfect match for my own tastes, so that probably explains it.

My personal tastes run along the indie/pop/punk/heavy sound, while Lee's music is more of the anthem rock/sold-out arena style of music.

Having said that, though, I was surprised by the fact that I actually enjoyed a lot of the music on this CD. Although it isn't the kind of music I would seek out, I've found that it's great for having on while I drive and I actually sing along with it sometimes.

So what does it sound like? Imagine Bruce Springsteen with a lot of tattoos, singing in a biker bar with Creed - and add a tiny touch of Coldplay. The songs are big, the vocals are filled with gravel, and most songs have a surprising amount of falsetto (hence the Coldplay reference).

As I mentioned before - this wouldn't normally be my cup of tea - but for what it is, "Risk Everything" is pleasant enough. And I have a feeling that fans of this style of music will find it pretty fantastic. The production values are good - the songs all have the 'big' sound you'd expect. The songwriting is good - the melody lines are more complex than I anticipated and I couldn't always guess what the next line would sound like, which is unheard of in modern music.

My one complaint is what I call the "cheese factor." There's something about this style of music that tends to bring out the worst indulgences in songwriters and this CD is no exception. On a cheesy scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being The Beatles and 10 being Michael W. Smith) I'd give Nathan Lee a 6. There are some lyrics that are a bit over-the-top (including "El Diablo y el Angel" - in which he pronounces all of the words in Spanish except 'angel' which he pronounces in English - why?!) and some vocal choices (such as his rolling of ro-o-o-oad on "Open Road" - I love the song, but hate this choice) that grate on my sensibilities.

But maybe I'm just too picky. Maybe these things won't bother you at all.

When all is said and done, I will be listening to this album again. The music is good and the good qualities nudge out the bad ones. But I suggest you listen to a track or two to make sure you like the style before you purchase the album in a couple of weeks.

Check it out here.

Review: "Ghosts of the Past" by Starflyer 59; "Haunted Horse" by Neon Horse

2009-08-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

I love Starflyer 59. I love just about every song they've written, and I am one of those fans who think their progression from "crunchy guitars and feedback" to "poppy lounge tunes" has been wonderful. I still listen to their first album and I still listen to their most recent one.

"Ghosts of the Past" isn't a traditional album. First of all, it takes up two CDs. There are a total of 31 songs, which is more than twice the length of a standard album. Of these songs, some are duplicates (the same song played regularly, then acoustically), some are new takes of songs that were previously released, and some are new-to-you cuts that weren't released in the past.

What the songs have in common is the 'modern' Starfyler sound full of light melodies, catchy bass lines, and gentle pop influence. These are songs from the last couple of releases and it shows. In fact, if I were to play a random track from this CD, you would easily be able to guess whether it came from the band's last compilation ("Easy Come, Easy Go") or from this new release.

Having said all of that, I love "Ghosts of the Past." The new songs are fantastic. The B-side takes of older songs all sound new, yet familiar. And the acoustic versions of songs from the last album ("Dial M") are terrific.

If you are a fan of lighter music, I suggest you click here and give the new songs a try. If you hate music or hate Starflyer, I suggest you leave and never come back to my blog again. Jerk.

Oh - one last note: one of the songs features David Bazan on vocals. That was a pleasant surprise!

It's fitting that Neon Horse's new album came out the same day as "Ghosts of the Past." Why? Because Jason Martin plays guitar in both bands, and sings in SF59. So it's like he released two albums from two different bands on the same day!

"Haunted Horse" (I refuse to type out the full title - it's too long!) is more of the same great sound we got on Neon Horse's debut album two years ago. At first, I was a bit put-off by the similarities. It sounded like more of the same, but not as fresh.

Then I listened to the album again. And again. And another time. And guess what? The songs grew on me and now I LOVE the new album. The sound of Neon Horse is like taking an 80's new-wave band, mixing it with a hint of heavy metal, then sprinkling it with an odd, unnerving vocalist. There are synthesizers. There are loud guitars. There are even whip sound effects!

One thing I must warn you about: The Horse's first album had some cheesy lyrics, but this one has even more than the predecessor. For example, there's a song called "Chain Gang, Bang Bang" (that I love) that is pretty nuts. And there's one called "Cell-O-Phone" that makes you feel lame just reading the name.

But it works. For what they do, Neon Horse are masters. If you can get accustomed to the singing style, they are worth a listen. Click here for a taste.

A poem by Caitlin

2009-08-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

Caitlin is waiting
For Matt to come back,
School will start
Let's grab a backpack.

I don't know why
I'm so blue;
Maybe it's just because
I miss you!

---------

My friend Matt Yoho stayed with us for the last week and the kids really got attached to him. Both girls cried last night when they realized they wouldn't see him again on this trip.

When we were at the coast, Matt and Caitlin (she's 8) wrote poetry together and they planned on writing poems every day for the rest of his stay. It didn't end up happening, so when Caitlin got up today she wrote a poem and asked me to email it to him.

I thought it was so cute (and sad!) that it deserved to go here instead. Hopefully Matt reads this and smiles, then cries like a baby. :-)

---------

By the way - I had a great time while Matt was here too. There's something to be said for people who respect your opinions/beliefs even when they disagree with them. Matt and I don't see eye-to-eye on many life issues, but it wasn't an issue. He treated my kids like I would have and he didn't swear around them or anything.

Thanks, Matt. You're a true friend.

I should have bought a lottery ticket...

2009-08-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

So here's a post about coincidences.

I mentioned recently that I helped proctor the bar exam, right? Well, imagine you are proctoring the exam and there are over 400 applicants. Now imagine there are 10 or so people helping the applicants check in, which is done alphabetically. For example, I was in charge of people whose last names began with A through C.

And imagine that you are 2,000 miles (approximately) from where you grew up. What are the odds of seeing someone you know?

That's what happened, though. I was checking people in, and part of the process required checking everyone's ID. A girl had a driver's license from Kansas, and I said "Hey, I'm from Kansas too! Welcome!"

Well, one of the guys in line - in a different line than mine, though - said "I grew up in Wichita." I looked at the guy and he looked really familiar.

"I think I know you," I said. "I went to school with you, right?"

"I'm Blake," he answered. "You're Dustin, right?"

!!!

Seriously, out of all of the people taking the exam, he happened to be in line close to me and happened to hear me say I was from Kansas. And he remembered me?!

I went to school with Blake Fry in 6-8th grades. I haven't seen him in about 18 years. What are the odds that we would see each other in Oregon and recognize one another? It's so bizarre!

Not only that, but I told my dad about it on the phone and it turns out that he went to high school with Blake's dad! It's a small world, dear readers. Of that I am convinced.

Read all of this post and be amazed...

2009-07-31T00:56:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me tell you about the bar exam. I work for the bar here in Oregon, and we are responsible for licensing all of the lawyers in the state. Well, our summer bar exam was the last two days (Tuesday and Wednesday) and we held the exam at a hotel in Clackamas, Oregon.

My job was to proctor a specific part of the room - 48 out of the 444 or so applicants. I handed out their questions, walked around to give help when needed, made sure people weren't cheating, etc.

Unfortunately, it was over 100 degrees here in the Portland area the past few days, which made it suck. Big time.

Through some twist of fate, the table I was assigned to sit at was on the south side of the building (where the sun always shines!) and the blinds were broken, so they couldn't be closed completely. Not only that, but the portable air conditioner we had ran an exhaust tube up into the ceiling to get rid of the hot air... And that's where it ended: in the ceiling.

Directly over my table was a grate, which allowed the hot exhaust air to pour down on me (and the test takers in my area). Our thermometers showed 89 degrees, and I had to sit in that funk for 11 hours or so. Ugh.

Wednesday was a tiny bit better, but not much. All in all I spent two days in sweltering heat, watching the life force get sucked out of me a bit at a time.

On the bright side: I think I was a good proctor and my test takers had a good time with me. We joked around a it. Hooray.

-----

Now for the really interesting stuff.

Today we went with my friend Matt out to the coast. On the way there, Matt wanted to check out the Spruce Goose - the airplane Howard Hughes built out of wood - which is located about 35 miles from Portland. We went through the museum, toured the Spruce Goose (which was amazing), and then went to the coast for some fun.

But the frightening part happened on the way to the Spruce Goose...... I was driving when Laura handed me something. "Ethan just found this in the pocket of his seat," she said.

I looked at what was in my hand and was surprised to find a fully-loaded clip of handgun ammunition. It was 40 mm hollow-point pullets in a clip designed for a pistol of some kind.

"What?!" I said. "What's this?"

"Ethan found it in our van!" she answered. And that was true. Ethan had found a full clip of ammo in the seat of our new van.

It really freaked me out.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask the police to meet me at the car dealership so we can file a report on this ammo. Who knows where it came from or what our van has been involved in recently? We've only had it for five weeks!

Scary.

Life Lessons #2

2009-07-27T15:18:00.001-07:00

Never call a televangelist.

A lady from my work called one named Peter Popoff and asked for prayers. Since then she has received a plethora of letters from his organization requesting money in exchange for miracles.

For example:

“Here’s a sponge cut in the shape of the number 8. Put it in water and it will grow, just like the Lord’s blessings will grow in your life! Send me $21.”

“Here’s a green string and green candle. Light the candle and tie three knots in the string while thinking about three problems in your life. Blow out the candle, then send me the string along with $66. I will pray and make the knots untie themselves with the power of the Holy Spirit, thus untying the problems in your life.”

“Here’s a magic 1,000 X blessing bracelet. Wear it (and send me $32) and God will bless you 1,000 times. Ignore the fact that the ‘bracelet’ is actually a money band that is used to group $20 bills into groups of $1,000. I’m not trying to manipulate you into thinking about money. I swear.”

This guy is a fraud and an idiot. Do not call him.

Here comes another one...

2009-07-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

Give this article a read. If the same thing were happening to the Koran, there would be violence and murder. But for some reason we Christians are complacent about it.

Sad.

This article speaks for itself. Sadly.

2009-07-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

Read this story about de-baptizing.

Tadpoles. Uh-huh.

2009-07-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

So Laura was exhausted when I got home tonight. Actually, that's a bit of an understatement - she was asleep on the couch and didn't respond to questions. But who can blame her? She worked the past five nights in a row and she's growing a baby in her tummy as well.

So I got her up to bed, woke up Callie, who was still asleep from her nap, and told the kids to get ready to go eat supper. Then I went upstairs and took a shower.

As I got out of the shower, I heard the sound of three sets of feet running up the stairs, then three sets of hands banging on the bedroom door (which I had locked before I got in the shower - I can see the future!). I opened the door and heard this:

"AdavijeioahiaojilamM!" It was the sound of three kids yelling at once.

"Shhh! Your mom is asleep in here," I said. "What's going on?"

"We've got tadpoles we think!" Upon further questioning I figured out that they had seen something wriggling around in the wading pool on the back patio. I threw on some clothes (it takes skills, ladies) and hurried downstairs to look out the patio door.

Sure enough, there were several little tiny black ... things ... moving around in the water. "I need to see closer," I said as I stepped outside. And that's when I realized there weren't several wriggly things; there were thousands. Literally.

Sure enough, they looked sort of like little tadpoles. They were long, black, and skinny and some were 'clinging' to the sides of the pool while others were swimming around madly.

Upon closer inspection I noticed several white bunches that looked like cotton, which turned out to be clusters of eggs.

And then it hit me. I hurried the kids inside and got on the internet to do a quick search for 'tadpoles' on Google. Up popped pictures of them and a video that showed that the creatures in our pool were way too tiny to be baby frogs.

Afraid of the knowledge that was in my head, I did another search: this time for 'mosquito larvae.' Yup. The pictures matched.

On our back patio we had a breeding ground for thousands of little blood suckers and they were all swimming in the kids' pool! Gross! I dumped out the pool and let the water (and wrigglers) flow downhill into our neighbor's yard. He yelled at our kids once, so I figure it was fair play.

Hopefully the larvae can't live outside of water and that got rid of them. Do you think I should go out there and spray bug spray all over the place?

*shudder*

Just... wow.

2009-07-21T14:45:00.000-07:00

First, let me say this: I can't tell for certain if these videos are staged. They don't appear fake to me, but who knows?

In any case, they are both hilarious and scary. The first clip shows an all-consuming rage that could possibly even be some sort of demon possession. The second clip is just funny - and in case you can't hear it, the kid filming the video is the one playing against (and betraying) the one yelling. The third clip seems like Napoleon Dynamite almost, which makes it seem the most staged, although I still think it is real.

There are two other clips you can find after these ones finish, but they both had bad language in them so I didn't include them.

Yay!

2009-07-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

It's possible you might hate this music. I know several people who do. But I, for one, love Neon Horse and I'm excited for this new album next week.

*smile*

Finally back on track.

2009-07-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

So...

I feel like things are finally back on track again. I've been reading my Bible every day (which I've said before, but will reiterate: I don't think this is necessary to be a Christian, but I don't know any better way to learn more about being one...) and praying more frequently.

See how perfect I am?

Hopefully you know that I don't make posts like this to brag, rather I want a record of the times I really felt good about my spiritual life. Being able to look back through my archives and remember certain struggles and successes is an important part of this blogging journey I am on. So please bear with my 'bragging' and know that I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else. Far from it. If anything, I've been criticized lately for being too sinful (and too honest about those sins)...

So what's going on in your life? If you are reading this, leave a comment with three pieces of information:

1) The best book you've recently read (and the Bible doesn't count)
2) The best new CD you've heard recently
3) Your favorite activity that makes you feel really and truly alive

Thanks!

Life Rules #1

2009-07-16T23:49:00.000-07:00

I want to lighten the mood a bit, so in the future I'm going to randomly insert Life Rules that I've learned (or that you have suggested) that help keep things on the funny side. Or on the stupid side, which is funny to me. :-)

#1

If it is shown on an infomercial, you can rest assured that it is crap, it is not worth the shipping cost, and that it will probably result in hair loss of one kind or another.

I have no inner monologue...

JUST SAYIN'

Again.

Hello.

Another funny video.

I like this video/commercial. It made me laugh.

Laura needs to invest in one of these...

More about media addiction

An amusing dream involving puns.

New baby?

*smile*

Brilliant satire.

This is just stupid.... but funny.

Chatroulette win!

Ow.

A long making-of ... interesting.

The best commercial in a long, long time.

Funny video game controlled by screaming

Clarification

My personal life.

So funny...

This is one reason I stopped playing Halo online...

A new post.

I love Chick-Fil-A. Here's another reason why...

Interesting article about names

Cool video

Fantastic video

What a stupid day.

Happy Day!

Emery video: "The Butcher's Mouth"

How does God work?

I almost wet myself (and I was naked!)...

A shout out to my parents...

An open letter to the Mexican guy from last night...

You might find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile...

The long weekend is done...

Review: "Favorites At Play" by Joy Electric

Mass Wii Pray

Review: "Gentlemen Broncos" READ THIS POST

Not fun. :-(

Something AWESOME to end the week on a high note...

Well, now. Welcome back to the show.

Review: "Monster Monster" by The Almost

Review: "0.1 Daylight's Coming" by Vesta

Review: "(M)orning" by Mae

Wow.

Much ado about nothing...

And an awesome/terrible story

Another day, another sickness...

Who's your daddy?

Great video!

Good News / Bad News

Pics of the Grossness

Hello from the Land O' Nasty (and no, it's nothing sexual)

More puke stories? You bet'cha!

I was interviewed by Stephen Colbert!

Chuck Norris.

"Lord: Save Us From Your Followers" - the review

What the?!

How you doin'?

What a bunch of crap.

It's the little things that make me smile...

Two "fun" quizzes I helped create...

Linky

Knowledge is Power!

Information vs. Ignorance

Review: "Curse Your Branches" by David Bazan

Review: "Inside These Walls" by Rob Blackledge

Camping Part 4: The Suck

A genius idea

People of Wal-Mart

Camping Part 3: Friday

Camping Part 2: The First Night

A rip-rap rippity doo!

I shouldn't enjoy this so much...

Review: "In Shallow Seas We Sail" by Emery

Part 1: The Preparations

A camping trip. In several parts.

Face in Hole

It's new and improved!

smile