An open letter to the Mexican guy from last night...

I think I’ve figured out one of the reasons I haven’t felt like blogging lately: nothing funny has happened to me in a while.

Although my sense of humor is … unique and the things I write aren’t always funny, I tend to get most of my inspiration from things that have amused me about life. Puking kids, rude strangers, inept corporations – all of these are ripe fodder for funny stories and make me want to write.

The good news? Something funny has finally happened again. Maybe not ‘funny ha ha’ but definitely interesting and (dare I say it) amusing.

Last night I rear-ended another car.

Ha ha!

I was driving to my in-laws’ house to meet my wife for our once-a-decade date night and it was just after dusk. The sun had barely set, the streetlights were on, and the headlights of oncoming cars were at that perfectly annoying “blind you since your eyes aren’t adjusted yet” level, which was my downfall.

I was on a regular four-lane road, having exited the freeway due to stop-and-go traffic that was taking way too long. I was in the left lane and I flinched from an oncoming car’s lights and as my vision came back, I noticed a card stopped in front of me about 10 feet away.

I was only going 35 or so, but those 10 feet disappeared as my brain reacted and after a half-second of squealing tires and slammed brakes, I was up the car’s tailpipe (so to speak…).

“Aw, crap,” I thought. “That was totally my fault. This sucks.”

I put on the blinkers, got out of the car, and walked up to the victim’s car. Out popped a Mexican man – probably in his mid-20s. His first words to me: “Aw, man, that’s the third time I’ve been rear-ended this week!”

HA HA!

Knowing that the accident was entirely my fault, I watched as he examined his bumper for damage, noting that the bumper was already covered in scratches, which I assume came from his other accidents this week.

“Sorry, man,” I said. “That was my fault. I didn’t have time to stop.”

“I don’t see any cracks or anything,” he replied. “I think it’s okay. Your car looks fine. I think everything’s okay.”

“Cool,” I said, feeling less-than-cool, and I reached out my hand to shake his. He shook my hand, got back in his car, and drove away.

Whew!

Thank you, random guy, for going easy on me last night, and thanks also for giving me something write about. 