I almost wet myself (and I was naked!)...

What *really* freaked me out was when the stupid Yo Gabba Gabba! guitar started playing a song all by itself... I almost soiled the stairs.

But let me back up...

Tonight Laura is at work. I hate it when she's gone (let's face it: what's the point in being married if you can't sleep next to the person?) but I made the most of it with some video games, a little bit of TV, and a nice warm bath. (Yeah! I take baths. So what?! Wanna fight over it?!)

The kids had been asleep for a while, so I relaxed in the bath, playing the new Zelda game on my DSi and reading the latest (and last) Codex Alera book by Jim Butcher. It was nice, but as I debated whether or not to get out of the tub, I heard a sound like a door opening.

Assuming one of the kids had come into my room, I let the water out of the bathtub and quickly dried off. Then I went to see what the noise had been.

As I walked into the hallway, I was surprised to see that the door to the cat's room was standing open and the light switch in there had been flipped on.

"Weird," I thought. "Someone opened her door and turned on the light, but why?"

Then I noticed that the kids' bedroom door was standing wide open and their light was also turned on.

"Crap!" I thought. "Why is their light on at 11 at night? Did one of them get up?"

But they were all sound asleep, even with the light on and the cat sitting on Caitlin's torso.

"Hey. Who got out of bed and let Maddy out of her room?" I asked quietly.

"Uhnnn," Ethan answered. "I didn't get any diamonds!"

They really WERE all asleep.

Mystified, and slightly nervous (due to recent news stories about abductions and crazy people), I returned to my bedroom and pulled out the 7-inch Buck knife a friend gave me a long time ago. I was still naked from the bath, I clutched my cell phone in one hand (in case someone was in the house and I needed to call the police) and the large knife in the other.

And I crept downstairs...

I checked the living room and kitchen first, but there was nobody there. I got to the toy room and decided to check in the toy room closet, which required walking barefoot on tons of toys. That's when I stepped on the Yo Gabba Gabba! guitar and made it sing a song.

Nobody in the playroom. Nobody in the downstairs bathroom. I started back up the stairs and was startled to see something above me at the railing... but it was just Caitlin's coat. And then I heard it.

The stupid guitar, playing a song again after being silent for a minute or so.

I returned downstairs, knife at my side, and found the guitar with another toy wedged on top of it. Apparently my fat footsteps had caused it to be pressed just right so that the stupid toy went off by itself as I ascended the stairs.

I searched the rest of the upstairs - including under the beds and in the closets - but found nothing. So I guess I'll go to sleep now, secure in the knowledge that my house is safe and one of my kids just happened to sleepwalk into the cat's room and turn on the lights...

Did I mention the Buck knife will be within reach all night?